What Type Of Milk Philosophers Would Put In Their Coffee At A Pretentious Coffee Shop That Offers Lots Of Types Of Milk, Based On What I Know About Them
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2 min readOct 15, 2018
- Hereclitus — Half And Half
There is a unity in opposites. One must experience hot to understand cold. Sickness is necessary in order to appreciate health. In order to understand the importance of milk fat we must also experience no milk fat. - Aristotle — Also Half And Half
Just as courage is the golden mean between recklessness and cowardice, so too is Half And Half the golden mean between cream and milk. - Plato — Hazelnut Milk
Low-fat, non-fat, whole milk, these are all shadows masquerading on a wall. Once freed from the chains that bind so many of us to cow’s milk, the philosopher is able to see hazelnut milk, and it’s bold, rich flavors, are the truest form of coffee milk. - Immanuel Kant — Heavy Cream
Removing milk fat must be prohibited, even in cases where the removal would result in more happiness. One would not wish to remove milk fat universally, to all milks, so one must not remove milk fat from any milks. - David Hume — 3% Milk
While it may not be on the menu, one may see non-fat milk, 1% milk and 2% milk and human understanding would allow him to conceive of 3% milk. Epistemologically challenged baristas will struggle with this order. Tip well if placing this order. - Friedrich Nietzsche — None
The last man is he who seeks creamer, dairy or non, for he desires only his own comfort. Coffee, good coffee, may establish itself and it’s notes unaided. To add milk is to hamper the coffee, to dampen and deny the possibilities of the coffee, and instead, turn it into a tasteless canvas on which we may project our own ideas of coffee. - Jean-Paul Sartre — Coconut Milk (In A Green Tea Latte)
We are free to choose the milk we want (coconut), however we are, in turn, condemned to be radically free. Thus, Sartre would drink a latte full of free-radicals. - Rene Descartes — Almond Milk
A classic example of dualism. The mind knows almond milk is good for you, however the body knows that almond milk is gross. Not a ton of milk though, just “ergo some.” - Søren Kierkegaard — Flax Milk
Don’t really have a reason behind this one, just always struck me as a flax milk type guy.
