What Your College Major Says About Your Life Post-Grad

Discover how your life has unfolded.

Sarah Garfinkel
Sep 2, 2019 · 2 min read
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Photo by wu yi on Unsplash

Political Science: You have never been called for jury duty, and you’re starting to get kind of panicky about it.

Biology: You have three pet cacti and they are all named Esther.

Communications: You cannot reach climax until you reach Inbox Zero.

Geography: You went to school in Wisconsin but say “in the Chicago area.”

Physics: You have exclusively dated people with “outie” belly buttons, not on purpose (but kind of on purpose).

Music: You composed a song to remember the difference in spelling between “dessert” and “desert” and it plays on the radio now.

Urban Studies: You once made four transportation-related puns in a single sentence and it drove your bus driver wild.

Nutrition: You have “a quinoa guy.”

Creative Writing: You frequently cancel first dates due to dehydration.

Consumer Behavior: You order nachos with no cheese or other toppings and refuse to acknowledge any waiter who asks, “So…just chips?”

Anthropology: You never played Sweet or Sour in the car as a child, but you do now.

Classics: You’re working on a book of Mesopotamian dad jokes.

Marketing: Sometimes you fabricate news of an Old Navy sale just to get your partner out of the house.

Peace and Conflict Studies: You don’t have an opinion either way on whether Ross and Rachel were on a break.

Geology: You once swam into a rock and apologized to it; tears were heavily involved.

Media Studies: You listen to TV-recap podcasts of shows you’ve never watched.

Studio Art: You have used contact lens solution as the liquid to apply temporary tattoos.

Pharmacology: Your fun fact is that you can swallow five pills at a time, no water.

Physiology: You once grew your pinky nail out as long as it would grow, just to see.

Digital Humanities: You have an Instagram devoted to hamsters at water parks. It has been pretty lucrative, actually.

Folklore: You write unsolvable riddles in the comments section of your Seamless orders.

Chemistry: You have phobias of improv troupes, fitting room mirrors, and sonnets.

Latin: You teach goat yoga now.

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Sarah Garfinkel

Written by

Sarah Garfinkel is a writer living in Cambridge, MA. You can find more of her writing at www.sarahgarfinkelwriting.com.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Sarah Garfinkel

Written by

Sarah Garfinkel is a writer living in Cambridge, MA. You can find more of her writing at www.sarahgarfinkelwriting.com.

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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