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What Your Signature Drink Says About You
Pinot Noir: At some point, you’ll agree to an open relationship.
My twin sons recently turned 21 and I wrote this guide. You know. To help.
Here’s what your signature drink says about you:
· American beer, any brand — You’ll change your major every other month and blow tuition on Draft Kings.
· European beer, any brand — You’ll support underrated Premier League teams, write “colour” or “favour” even though you’re from Florida, and speak with vague, foreign accents.
· Asian beer — You’ll write fan fiction under five pseudonyms.
· Mexican beer with lime wedge — You’ll post pictures online of your feet with the beach and/or sunset in the background.
· Jamaican beer — You’ll spend weekends sitting in the back of tiki bars, singing along with Jimmy Buffet cover bands.
· PBR — You’ll post updates about your beard, misinterpret Marxist theories, and pretend to appreciate jazz.
· Boone’s Farm — You’ll routinely hit on your best friend’s dates, play darts competitively, and get busted shoplifting candy bars.
· Canadian beer, mostly Labatt’s — You’ll politely argue with coworkers about hockey and universal health…