Why I’m Perfect For “Indian Matchmaking”
It’s been a lean year, Sima Auntie. Hook a girl up!
Dear Sima Auntie,
Please consider this letter my application for your #IndianMatchmaking services. I don’t like to brag, but I might just be your white whale — that one-in-a-million Indian girl who will please even your most difficult clients.
Although I’ve been called “bronze,” “tan,” and occasionally “dusky,” I’m definitely on the right side of dark. Just to be safe, I’ve ordered two tubes of Fair & Lovely cream. They arrive tomorrow. #OnIt!
In addition to being fair(ish), I’m also tall(ish), which should please even the pickiest mother-in-law. Although only 5’3” in my bare feet, I have been known to reach 5’8” in stilettos (though I tucked them away after accidentally puncturing Julio’s lung while walking on his back).
Let’s leave that out of the biodata. (What happened in one’s 20s…)
Slim, trim and educated — check, check and check. I completed my college at Lady Immaculata’s Convent for Girls in New Delhi, where I absolutely did not win the awards for “Shortest skirt” and “Most likely to give it up on first date.”
And, even though “beauty is only skin-deep,” I should mention that I was 3rd runner up in the Miss South-East Edison, NJ…
