Why We Definitely Can’t Have Sex Now That I’m Pregnant

Jillian Pretzel
Nov 7, 2020 · 2 min read
Photo by Camylla Battani on Unsplash

First Trimester:

Because I feel bloated like a crouton left too long in soup.

Second Trimester:

Because I’m worried you’ll squish the baby and it’ll come out with a poked-in alien face.

Third trimester:

Because I’m a human pumpkin.


Medium humor. Large laughs.

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