FOR LOVE OR PEANUT BUTTER

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

But if you cry sometimes, you might find… You still want the same thing.

Illustration by Emily Clouse

We’re down to the finals. It’s Carter vs. Dex. Hot Neighbor vs. Dick Pic Guy. Good on Paper vs. Recently Separated. Who will emerge the legume intolerant victor of my heart? Only one way to find out…