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Medium humor. Large laughs.
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We’re Seeking A Rockstar Copywriter To Meet Our Company’s Impossible Demands
We’re Seeking A Rockstar Copywriter To Meet Our Company’s Impossible Demands
Join our amazing family!
Emily Knapp
Apr 23
Holden Caulfield Reviews Plant-Based Proteins
Holden Caulfield Reviews Plant-Based Proteins
The only thing impossible about this burger was goddamn terrible it tasted.
Adam Dietz
Apr 22
Signs This Group Is Definitely Not A Cult
Signs This Group Is Definitely Not A Cult
We prefer the term “self-supporting collective of absolute devotion.”
Jennifer Haubrich
Apr 22
What’s Inside Your Baby
What’s Inside Your Baby
Now with 40 percent less sugar/spice
Ross Murray
Apr 21
“The Simpsons” Just Hasn’t Been Funny Since I Watched Matt Groening Beat My Dad To Death
“The Simpsons” Just Hasn’t Been Funny Since I Watched Matt Groening Beat My Dad To Death
My theory on when “The Simpsons” jumped the shark.
Patrick Coyne
Apr 20
What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership
What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership
He’s really, really trying to do the right thing.
Jeff King
Apr 19
I’m The Time Estimate On The New “Weeknight” Recipe You’re Making, And I’m Brazenly Lying To Your…
I’m The Time Estimate On The New “Weeknight” Recipe You’re Making, And I’m Brazenly Lying To Your…
Prepare to say goodbye to everyone and everything you’ve ever loved.
JRR Jokien
Apr 18
More Heehee's and Hoohoo's
The Pickiest Tech-Bro In Town
The Pickiest Tech-Bro In Town
It’s time for a throwback edition of FLOPB: The Bad Dates.
Kelly Shanley
Apr 17
An Excerpt From My Fawning Biography Of An Obviously Deranged Billionaire
An Excerpt From My Fawning Biography Of An Obviously Deranged Billi...
As soon as I started writing this book, I knew it would make the one I wrote about Einstein look like the biography of an illiterate baby.
David Guzman
Apr 17
The Wokest Public School Parent Council Has A Very Effective Meeting
The Wokest Public School Parent Council Has A Very Effective Meeting
Voted most progressive Parent Council four years in a row!
Lisa Hides
Apr 16
I Crave Your Clothes Inside Me — A Love Note From Your Hotel Room Dresser
I Crave Your Clothes Inside Me — A Love Note From Your Hotel Room D...
If the furniture could talk
Jimmy Ho
Apr 15
I Thought I Was Using AI To Write My Novel, But It’s Just A Guy Named “Al”
I Thought I Was Using AI To Write My Novel, But It’s Just A Guy Nam...
I typed a defiant “?” followed by a more prodding “????????”
rob white
Apr 14
Things I Say To My Kidnapper To Humanize Myself
Things I Say To My Kidnapper To Humanize Myself
“That is such a chic ski mask… where did you get it? From Forever 21? Wow!”
Carly Gibson
Apr 13
Welcome To The Emergency Room, Your Stay Will Be Unforgettable
Welcome To The Emergency Room, Your Stay Will Be Unforgettable
Here in the Emergency Room, we aim to make every customer’s stay a unique and unforgettable experience.
Oscar Wallis
Apr 12
Your Passive Aggressive Home Inspection
Your Passive Aggressive Home Inspection
The bathtub was in working condition, that is, if you’re the kind of person who enjoys sitting in a tub of their own filth.
Adam Dietz
Apr 11
Your Inner Saboteur, Or Texts From Your Landlord?
Your Inner Saboteur, Or Texts From Your Landlord?
One and the same?
Stephanie
Apr 11
An Acknowledgment That This Car Is Stolen
An Acknowledgment That This Car Is Stolen
Before we flee, let’s all take a minute to recognize and acknowledge the traditional owners of this vehicle we’re occupying.
Daniel Galef
Apr 10
Waystar Royco CEO Logan Roy As A Fifth-Grader In Elementary School
Waystar Royco CEO Logan Roy As A Fifth-Grader In Elementary School
Before Logan Roy was terrorizing his own kids, he was terrorizing his elementary school classmates.
S Yan
Apr 9
If You Meet These Hyper-Specific Guidelines, You May Qualify For Student Loan Forgiveness
If You Meet These Hyper-Specific Guidelines, You May Qualify For St...
If your first sexual awakening was seeing John Stamos sing Kokomo on Full House, you may be eligible for loan forgiveness.
Adam Dietz
Apr 8
This Camping Trip Will Be Extremely Chill As Long As I Get To Be In Charge Of The Campfire
This Camping Trip Will Be Extremely Chill As Long As I Get To Be In...
If I don’t get to be in charge of the fire, I will make this camping trip a living hell.
Charlie James
Apr 8
Presenting My Scientific Breakthrough Of A Snake With Human Arms
Presenting My Scientific Breakthrough Of A Snake With Human Arms
I’m ready to be praised for my groundbreaking innovation!
James Klein
Apr 7
In An Exclusive Interview, The Planet Jupiter Spills Its Gaseous Guts
In An Exclusive Interview, The Planet Jupiter Spills Its Gaseous Guts
Long-silent planet reveals sensitive side
Phil Witte
Apr 6
Scenes From The CrossStitch Games
Scenes From The CrossStitch Games
Linda and Peggy bring you complete opening coverage
Frega DiPerri
Apr 5
A Guidance Counselor Warns A High-School Student Against The Fate Of Going To Trade School In 1998
A Guidance Counselor Warns A High-School Student Against The Fate O...
Study hard and follow your passion at a four-year university and you’ll have your pick of the job market by 2008!
Sarah Gardner
Apr 4
Meeting The Parents
Meeting The Parents
Don’t panic! As long as you got the timing right…
Kelly Shanley
Apr 3
A Home For Nana
A Home For Nana
Nana is weak and feeble, on her last legs.
Karen Schauber
Apr 3
A Date? Not For All The Tea In China
A Date? Not For All The Tea In China
To be honest, I’m not at all convinced of your ability to procure that much tea.
Talia Argondezzi
Apr 2
I Am The Mascot and You Shall Know My School Spirit
I Am The Mascot and You Shall Know My School Spirit
I’m not a hero, I’m a mascot.
Adam Dietz
Apr 1
Forget The Trends And Use These Spicy Baby Names Instead
Forget The Trends And Use These Spicy Baby Names Instead
So your friend stole the name you wanted…
Ruth Fish
Apr 1
We’re Looking For A Breaking News Reporter Who Can Also Tell Readers If Trader Joe’s Is Open On…
We’re Looking For A Breaking News Reporter Who Can Also Tell Reader...
This is why you got a journalism degree
Lareign Ward
Mar 30
I Am Moving To New York City To Pursue Crying Full Time
I Am Moving To New York City To Pursue Crying Full Time
I have big dreams and even bigger tears.
Erin A Ross
Mar 29
My March Madness Was Freakin’ Insane This Year, And Also A Little Bit Lonely!
My March Madness Was Freakin’ Insane This Year, And Also A Little B...
Who are you rooting for? What’s your phone number?
Luke Roloff
Mar 28
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