Homepage
Open in app
Sign in
Get started
Slackjaw
Medium humor. Large laughs.
About
Submit to Slackjaw
Resources
Humor Cheat Sheet
Follow
Hot Off The Internet Printing Press
Sexy Sandwiches: A Sex-Tracking App For The Sandwich Generation
Sexy Sandwiches: A Sex-Tracking App For The Sandwich Generation
Has simultaneously caring for your growing children and your aging parents put a damper on your sex life?
Mary Flannery
Jan 12
Welcome To Urgent Care
Welcome To Urgent Care
Please fill out these forms and lower your expectations.
megan neary
Jan 11
Beyond FOMO: The Other Missing Out Attitudes
Beyond FOMO: The Other Missing Out Attitudes
You will never have to compromise or make hard choices. Life is long, and there is plenty of time, right? Right.
Alex Baia
Jan 10
Advice For Movie Characters Who Never Need To Pee
Advice For Movie Characters Who Never Need To Pee
Your power to snoop around upstairs is unparalleled.
Talia Argondezzi
Jan 10
God Attempts To Write A Novel In Seven Days
God Attempts To Write A Novel In Seven Days
Creating the world was easier than this.
Rachel Reyes
Jan 9
I Am Way More Hydrated Than You
I Am Way More Hydrated Than You
Don’t be thirsty over my lack of thirst
Aaron Chown
Jan 8
Uh Oh, Scientists Have Discovered That Milk Is Cum
Uh Oh, Scientists Have Discovered That Milk Is Cum
The confusion of the news stopped people in their tracks at first, but we didn’t question it. Milk was cum now, and we acted accordingly.
rob white
Jan 7
More Heehee's and Hoohoo's
Introducing Your Boomer To Edibles
Introducing Your Boomer To Edibles
A handy how-to, because therapy doesn’t come in fruit flavors.
Sean Cusick
Jan 6
I’m The Only Plumber In Arendelle And My Life Is A Shit Show
I’m The Only Plumber In Arendelle And My Life Is A Shit Show
The unpredictable freeze-thaw cycle is destroying Arendelle’s sewage system and spreading dysentery throughout the kingdom.
Hallie Pritts
Jan 5
You Didn’t Get The Job Because You’re Ugly
You Didn’t Get The Job Because You’re Ugly
But we would never say that.
Matt Hearnden
Jan 4
New Hope Counseling Misses You(r Wallet)
New Hope Counseling Misses You(r Wallet)
Where Health is Definitely Wealth
Adriana Sterling
Jan 3
Conditions That Must Be Met Before I Can Do My To-Do List
Conditions That Must Be Met Before I Can Do My To-Do List
Mercury cannot be in retrograde. But it also can’t be moving forward.
Viktoria Shulevich
Jan 2
The Glove Of My Life: A Winter Engagement Story
The Glove Of My Life: A Winter Engagement Story
Glove always finds a way
Kelly Shanley
Jan 1
Even Drones Have Resolutions
Even Drones Have Resolutions
Confessions from 400 feet above as I plan for 2025
Tiffany Harris
Jan 1
Introducing The Vatican’s Mascot Legacy Series
Introducing The Vatican’s Mascot Legacy Series
Collect the whole set and save your soul.
Jeff King
Dec 31, 2024
All This Dinosaur Did Was Walk Through Some Mud And People Are Studying His Work 150 Million Years…
All This Dinosaur Did Was Walk Through Some Mud And People Are Stud...
I mean, come on.
Sarah Totton
Dec 31, 2024
Your Smokeless Fire Pit Just Smoked Me Out
Your Smokeless Fire Pit Just Smoked Me Out
I might as well take up smoking
Thomas Pease
Dec 30, 2024
What I Would Say To My Younger Caterpillar-Self
What I Would Say To My Younger Caterpillar-Self
A Bug’s Advice
Tommy Gonzalez
Dec 29, 2024
Disappointing Erotic Encounters With An Introvert
Disappointing Erotic Encounters With An Introvert
Sorry ladies, I need to go home and finish my Minecraft castle.
Jonathan W Stokes
Dec 28, 2024
As A Gen X Musician, The Scariest Thing To Me Is Financial Security For My Beautiful Family
As A Gen X Musician, The Scariest Thing To Me Is Financial Security...
In my early work, I asked myself and all of my fans: Can you imagine having to go to work every single day?
Adam Dietz
Dec 27, 2024
How I Create Movie Sound Effects Using Food
How I Create Movie Sound Effects Using Food
To create the sound of an exploding head, melons are dropped from the second floor.
Tobi Pledger
Dec 26, 2024
I’m A Whimsical Old Man In A Christmas Movie, And I Refuse To Confirm If I’m Santa Claus
I’m A Whimsical Old Man In A Christmas Movie, And I Refuse To Confi...
I’m very subtle about it.
Sara Nicole
Dec 25, 2024
Studio Notes On The Channuka Story
Studio Notes On The Channuka Story
We just have a couple minor ‘suggestions’
Louie Aronowitz
Dec 24, 2024
Welcome To Your Six-Week Holiday Position At America’s Last Remaining Sears: A Training Manual
Welcome To Your Six-Week Holiday Position At America’s Last Remaini...
A guide to temporary employment in retail purgatory.
Kyle Repella
Dec 24, 2024
From City Slickers To City Slickers 2: We Rank The Only 2 Movies In My Mother-In-Law’s Beach House
From City Slickers To City Slickers 2: We Rank The Only 2 Movies In...
Did you have any idea your mom was this big of a Billy Crystal fan?
Patrick Coyne
Dec 23, 2024
Memorandum To My Body From My Brain Re: Winter Quarter
Memorandum To My Body From My Brain Re: Winter Quarter
Thank you for another great quarter!
Rachel Geman
Dec 22, 2024
If Actual Hallmark Holiday Movie Meet Cutes Happened To Me
If Actual Hallmark Holiday Movie Meet Cutes Happened To Me
Based on actual Hallmark holiday movie meet cutes and based on my actual personality.
Rachel Marsh
Dec 21, 2024
Santa’s Affidavits
Santa’s Affidavits
SANTA CLAUS being first duly sworn, deposes and says: 1. I can see children when they are sleeping and know when they are awake.
Emily Menez
Dec 20, 2024
I Have This Really Good Idea For a Movie
I Have This Really Good Idea For a Movie
Ugh, it’s so stupid, right? I bet no one will watch it.
christopher walker
Dec 19, 2024
What The Heck Are Those Drones? Responses From The Pentagon
What The Heck Are Those Drones? Responses From The Pentagon
“We don’t know what they are, why they’re here, where they’re coming from, where they land, or who’s controlling them…”
Alex Baia
Dec 18, 2024
I Went Speed Dating So You Don’t Have To
I Went Speed Dating So You Don’t Have To
But this speed dating was supposed to be “different”…
Kelly Shanley
Dec 18, 2024
I, Composer Pytor Tchaikovsky, Always Dreamed Of Getting Nutcrackers And Rats On A Line Of Fancy…
I, Composer Pytor Tchaikovsky, Always Dreamed Of Getting Nutcracker...
And my plan was simple!
Lily Hirsch
Dec 18, 2024
About Slackjaw
Latest Stories
Archive
About Medium
Terms
Privacy
Teams