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Attracting Suckers

Attracting Suckers

A self-help Guru’s playbook
Go to the profile of The Spoken Blog
The Spoken Blog
My Cold Is Worse Than Yours, I Can Tell

My Cold Is Worse Than Yours, I Can Tell

When I told you I was feeling a bit under the weather, “Me too” was not the correct response.
Go to the profile of Sarah James
Sarah James
An Antiques Expert Drops By First-Grade Show-And-Tell

An Antiques Expert Drops By First-Grade Show-And-Tell

No discernible qualities suggest this rock has any value.
Go to the profile of Dan Gutenberg
Dan Gutenberg
Welcome To Hollywood!

Welcome To Hollywood!

Glitzville. Tinseltown. The City of Lights and Also Cameras and Also Action.
Go to the profile of Eli Burnstein
Eli Burnstein
A Keto Influencer Reviews “The Fattiest” Brasilia Steakhouse

A Keto Influencer Reviews “The Fattiest” Brasilia Steakhouse

Damn, there’s more grease in this thing than in a Jiffy Lube.
Go to the profile of Tobi Pledger
Tobi Pledger
What The Canada Geese Are Really Saying As They Migrate

What The Canada Geese Are Really Saying As They Migrate

“So I go to the playground and I take this massive dump at the end of the slide…”
Go to the profile of Kelli Huggins
Kelli Huggins
Honey, I Shrunk The Woman I’m Cheating On You With

Honey, I Shrunk The Woman I’m Cheating On You With

I’m so embarrassed I don’t even know where to start.
Go to the profile of Julien Perez
Julien Perez
More Heehee's and Hoohoo's
Letter From The Alumni Association That Tracked You Down

Letter From The Alumni Association That Tracked You Down

You tried to get away from us, didn’t you?
Go to the profile of James Klein
James Klein
I’m In The Mime Gang From The Warriors, And I Think We Need A New Look

I’m In The Mime Gang From The Warriors, And I Think We Need A New Look

Was there a vote I wasn’t aware of?
Go to the profile of Graeme Carey
Graeme Carey
When I Take Off My Sunglasses Slowly And Dramatically, I Mean Business

When I Take Off My Sunglasses Slowly And Dramatically, I Mean Business

Here. We. Go.
Go to the profile of Aaron Chown
Aaron Chown
Reviewing Your Boyfriend’s Instagram Following

Reviewing Your Boyfriend’s Instagram Following

It can’t be that bad, can it?
Go to the profile of Shawn Tran
Shawn Tran
How To Win Family Game Night

How To Win Family Game Night

Settle on a game that the fewest people know how to play. Make sure it’s also the longest and most complicated.
Go to the profile of Jeff Bender
Jeff Bender
In Order To Pee In Our Ballpark, You Must Download The MLB Piss App

In Order To Pee In Our Ballpark, You Must Download The MLB Piss App

Big news, baseball fans! This season, Major League Baseball is enhancing your ballpark visit with the ultimate digital experience: the MLB…
Go to the profile of Sarah James
Sarah James
I’m An Oversized Pickup Truck, And This Suburban Life is Killing Me

I’m An Oversized Pickup Truck, And This Suburban Life is Killing Me

This cul-de-sac just ain’t big enough for the likes of me
Go to the profile of Graeme Carey
Graeme Carey
Height And Dating: The Case For Short Kings

Height And Dating: The Case For Short Kings

Are your height preferences holding you back?
Go to the profile of Kelly Shanley
Kelly Shanley
Eight And A Half Hours Of Sleep

Eight And A Half Hours Of Sleep

Husband: If I tell people to sleep that much, they’ll think I’m an insane radical.
Go to the profile of Alex Baia
Alex Baia
Mosquitos Love Me

Mosquitos Love Me

At night when I’m trying to doze off, mosquitoes will sneak in through my bedroom window and buzz sweet nothings into my ear.
Go to the profile of Adam Dietz
Adam Dietz
Young Love

Young Love

I am 58 years old. My fiancee, Holly, is 18.
Go to the profile of Jack Handey
Jack Handey
Review Of The First-Ever Hair Salon

Review Of The First-Ever Hair Salon

I’m sure all these small issues are just teething problems…
Go to the profile of Stephanie Redmond
Stephanie Redmond
Turns Out Yogurt Has Been Drywall Compound This Whole Time

Turns Out Yogurt Has Been Drywall Compound This Whole Time

“Probiotic”? Just made that word up.
Go to the profile of Ross Murray
Ross Murray
Why I, Sir Lancealittleless, Use Knight’s Laundry Detergent

Why I, Sir Lancealittleless, Use Knight’s Laundry Detergent

The #1 cleanser for questing men.
Go to the profile of Zoieyx
Zoieyx
No, I Do Not Regret “Making Myself At Home”

No, I Do Not Regret “Making Myself At Home”

I’m not sorry that I ate the entire party sub.
Go to the profile of Justin Gawel
Justin Gawel
We Both Know This Coffee Shop Has A Bathroom

We Both Know This Coffee Shop Has A Bathroom

And you’re going to let me use it.
Go to the profile of Eli Burnstein
Eli Burnstein
It’s Crazy To Think That Everyone (Except Me) Is Going To Die Someday

It’s Crazy To Think That Everyone (Except Me) Is Going To Die Someday

Death just isn’t for me.
Go to the profile of Graeme Carey
Graeme Carey
The Eco-Green Yoga Mat Guide To Navigating Our Sliding Scale Payment System

The Eco-Green Yoga Mat Guide To Navigating Our Sliding Scale Paymen...

Paying $60 for a yoga mat has never been easier.
Go to the profile of Jordan De Padova
Jordan De Padova
Why Am I Called “Deep Throat”?

Why Am I Called “Deep Throat”?

You couldn’t think of a better codename?
Go to the profile of Nick Guadagnino
Nick Guadagnino
Hey, Girl, I Don’t Want To Be Serious With You, But Will You Watch My Hamster?

Hey, Girl, I Don’t Want To Be Serious With You, But Will You Watch ...

Charlie really misses you.
Go to the profile of Laura Berlinsky-Schine
Laura Berlinsky-Schine
Pretending I Have A House

Pretending I Have A House

It’s like playing dress up, but for adults.
Go to the profile of Brigs H
Brigs H
How To Be Adorable When Someone Is Genuinely Hurting Your Feelings

How To Be Adorable When Someone Is Genuinely Hurting Your Feelings

This no-stress guide helps you go from “wow, that hurt,” to “wow, that hurt, but I made my bully smile!”
Go to the profile of Emily Menez
Emily Menez
Medieval Jerry

Medieval Jerry

Nice court. Mind if I jest in it?
Go to the profile of Eli Burnstein
Eli Burnstein
The Dream Guy And The A$$hole

The Dream Guy And The A$$hole

How to lose a guy in three dates
Go to the profile of Kelly Shanley
Kelly Shanley
Much Like Abercrombie And Fitch, I — The Guy Who Bullied You In High School — Am Making A Comeback

Much Like Abercrombie And Fitch, I — The Guy Who Bullied You In Hig...

I won’t lie to you and say the last few decades have been good to me because they haven’t.
Go to the profile of Adam Dietz
Adam Dietz
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