Sign in Get started

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Hot Off The Internet Printing Press

In My Era Of Basketball, People Were Committing War Crimes

In My Era Of Basketball, People Were Committing War Crimes

Let me tell you something about basketball these days: it’s unwatchable.

Jun 22

The Mug

Two office alphas. One stain. Zero mercy.

Danielle Gruber

Jun 21

FOX News Headlines If Jaws Characters Belonged To Marginalized Groups

FOX News Headlines If Jaws Characters Belonged To Marginalized Groups

By Emily Menez & Kevin Maher

Jun 20

I Am Ryan Reynolds And One Day I Will Take Over Your Shitty Little Soccer Club

I Am Ryan Reynolds And One Day I Will Take Over Your Shitty Little Soccer Club

I will personally see to it that I take it over, and become its king

Jun 20

Need Our Sensible Private Browsing Features? Just Click This Cartoon Pervert Icon

Need Our Sensible Private Browsing Features? Just Click This Cartoon Pervert Icon

Jun 19

Readers’ Comments On How To Make The Perfect Hard-Boiled Egg

Readers’ Comments On How To Make The Perfect Hard-Boiled Egg

Weird and unhelpful observations welcome.

Jun 18

Bad, Bad Boys Of The White House

Bad, Bad Boys Of The White House

A brief history of the White House’s naughtiest dogs

Jun 17

More Heehee's and Hoohoo's

I Became A Sex Worker To Get An Amazon Review For My New Book.

I Became A Sex Worker To Get An Amazon Review For My New Book.

Anyone who is self-published knows how tough it is to get Amazon reviews.

Jun 17

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m A Nepo Baby, There Are So Many Other Good Reasons

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m A Nepo Baby, There Are So Many Other Good...

I don’t tip. And it’s not like I’m bad at math. I just don’t like having any contact with poor peoples.

Jun 16

Our Internet Is Down, So I’m Left With No Choice But To Go Live In The Wilderness

Our Internet Is Down, So I’m Left With No Choice But To Go Live In ...

I see no other option.

Jun 15

Local Coffee Shop Barista Ranks Customers From Bad To Worst

Local Coffee Shop Barista Ranks Customers From Bad To Worst

#5: The Coffee Bro

Elizabeth is Dead

Jun 14

I Thought My Standing Desk Was A Game Changer.

I Thought My Standing Desk Was A Game Changer.

Then I tried a standing bed!

Susan M. Clarke

Jun 13

Alberta & Bear Have Coffee

Alberta & Bear Have Coffee

Interpersonal Communication Can Be Sexy…Or Not.

Jun 12

Ask Mister Condiment

Ask Mister Condiment

Answers for the saucily inquisitive.

Jun 11

Where Are They Now? “Those Tiny Scamps!”

Where Are They Now? “Those Tiny Scamps!”

The show’s time on the air was short, much like its diminutive protagonists.

Jun 10

On My Next Trip, I’m Going To Find The Real Paris

On My Next Trip, I’m Going To Find The Real Paris

Pompidou? More like Pompidon’t.

Jun 10

Classic Getting-to-Know-You Games (And How to Win)

Classic Getting-to-Know-You Games (And How to Win)

Your guide to crushing connection

Jun 9

I Tried Seven Methods For Making Toast And The Winner Was Totally Expected

I Tried Seven Methods For Making Toast And The Winner Was Totally E...

Who doesn’t love buttered toast?

Jun 8

What I Think Melania Trump’s Amazon Documentary Will Be About

What I Think Melania Trump’s Amazon Documentary Will Be About

All based on what I know about her, which is absolutely nothing.

Jun 7

The Correct Public Toilet Stall To Choose

The Correct Public Toilet Stall To Choose

By Julie Kling & Emily Menez

Jun 6

The Overly-Meta First Draft Of Forrest Gump

The Overly-Meta First Draft Of Forrest Gump

Watch Forrest run…straight through the fourth wall.

Bryan Thomas Woods

Jun 5

Reasons Why I Rescued Three Feral Kittens I Found Outside My Apartment

Reasons Why I Rescued Three Feral Kittens I Found Outside My Apartment

I love Googling “worms in cat poop” at 2am

Jun 4

The Five Most Common Mistakes Parents Make In Their Baby’s First Fifteen Minutes Of Life

The Five Most Common Mistakes Parents Make In Their Baby’s First Fi...

Your baby has just arrived! It’s a time of love, kneejerk parental helicoptering and rookie mistakes. Here’s 5 big ones you should avoid…

Jun 4

Pools You Should Never, Ever Swim In

Pools You Should Never, Ever Swim In

Beware of society’s most treacherous waters.

Jun 3

You Do Like The Gift Horse, Right?

You Do Like The Gift Horse, Right?

You’re really inspecting her hooves there…

Jun 2

My Sudden Interest In Saving The Bees Has Nothing To Do With My Inability To Save My Marriage

My Sudden Interest In Saving The Bees Has Nothing To Do With My Ina...

Stop trying to connect the dots between my personal life crumbling and me devoting all of my time and energy to bees!

Jun 2

Karl Marx Or Richard Marx?

Karl Marx Or Richard Marx?

Iconic beard / iconic mullet. By Jeff Bender and Talia Argondezzi

Talia Argondezzi

Jun 1

A Cereal Scientist At General Mills Pitches “Worrios”

A Cereal Scientist At General Mills Pitches “Worrios”

What we eat should reflect who we are — and we’re worried.

Soné Anandpara

May 31

An Open Relationship For The End Of The World

An Open Relationship For The End Of The World

We are constantly living in unprecedented times. Things that have never happened before are happening a lot.

May 30

Your Trash Lacks A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi

Your Trash Lacks A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi

It’s not bad garbage. There’s just nothing special about it.

May 29

I’m A Nightclub Owner Who Has A Secret And The Secret Is I’m Also A Leprechaun

I’m A Nightclub Owner Who Has A Secret And The Secret Is I’m Also A...

Who’s feeling lucky?

May 28

I’ve Forgotten More About Basketball Than You’ll Ever Know

I’ve Forgotten More About Basketball Than You’ll Ever Know

I don’t mean that metaphorically. I mean I’ve literally forgotten almost everything about basketball.

May 27

About SlackjawLatest StoriesArchiveAbout MediumTermsPrivacyTeams