5 Tips for Thriving: Starting and Creating Powerful Personal Reflection
by Daniel Kapcar and Marissa Amine
Personal reflection is something that we often hear about but what it means or how to use it can be elusive. Reflection is defined as an action of serious thought or consideration. When applied at a personal level, reflection amplifies our self-awareness leading to enlightenment and a greater understanding of ourselves and the world around us. It contributes to achieving both professional and personal success. The act of reflection is enabled in many ways. Sometimes it is self-started or can come from feedback from others on our actions whether they be verbal or non-verbal.
When we were in the “before COVID-19” world, we had more face to face interactions making it relatively easy to get feedback from others. Many had an established routine to make time to reflect. In this environment, everything has changed and what once was routine has become a struggle.
In a recent meeting, this topic came up between myself and my colleague Marissa. We spoke about what reflection meant to each of us and agreed that reflection was an important piece of personal growth and understanding. We realized that though our struggles and why we turned to reflection had similarities, the way we performed it was completely different but equally impactful for each of us. We began to understand that the real secret is finding a way that works for you.
Marissa is the type that has a “go-go-go” personality. Her journey with reflection started when she realized this cycle created a mentality where she only focused on what was next. This cycle led to not appreciating all that had been completed and accomplished resulting in a feeling of being drained and lost, both in her personal and professional life.
I am the type that likes to please those around me which led to veering in a direction professionally that was not true to my personal values and interests. After not being satisfied with the performance outcomes of my focused efforts at work, I wanted more impact and action coming out of my day to day activities. I started spending more time reflecting on why I was feeling the way I was.
Because we are all different, there is no one “right way” to get through this time. We need to get through it in a way that works best for us individually. Reflection can serve as a tool to help you do that and listed below are some tips for how to incorporate it into your day.
1. Start with why.
Think of this as your introductory session. Understanding the why and what you want to get out of it will help you stay committed. Be purposeful with why you are reflecting and think about your end goal.
2. Practice not perfection.
Personal approaches can shift from time to time based on your schedule and the situation. It’s like any routine; it takes a couple of tries to find what works for you.
3. Start small.
Attempt to create a rigor — be it daily, weekly, monthly — so that your reflection stays regular and impactful.
4. Reflect to act.
The most powerful reflection is when you use the resulting insights to drive action. Even micro changes that come out of it can add up and make a difference over time. Sometimes the action may not lead to a full solution but be part of the exploration such as talking out an issue with someone or developing a ‘half picture.’ Sharing your insights with your manager, mentor, significant other or friend can lead to an impactful and eye-opening conversation, or realization.
5. Do what works for you.
Many reflection techniques exist from daily journaling to meditation to simply thinking about your day and what you liked and did not like.
At the end of the day, we all need to take a moment to focus on ourselves to achieve some balance and clarity. For Marissa, reflection brought happiness and understanding. Taking the time to press pause and think about her feelings brought her enlightenment in ways that have made her a happier and more patient person. For me, it served as a mechanism to provide myself feedback, leading to more self-awareness, understanding, and ultimately the focused effort and impact that I was seeking.
Now that the initial COVID-19 scare has passed, we are all pivoting to quickly recover and find balance in a new normal. The speed in which we are moving and the drastic changes in direction require us to be patient and resilient. Our aim in sharing these tips is for you to apply them to maintain your health and wellness during a time when demands are placed on you more than ever before.
We are happy to discuss programs and additional tactics on professional coaching and leadership development at daniel.kapcar@slalom.com or marissa.amine@slalom.com.
