#1 Thing to do when you fight that will save your marriage
We have all heard about or seen the movie “10 Things I Hate About You” Truth is when we are in a relationship finding things that we can’t stand about your partner is too easy. Unfortunately, we become way too focused on these things and it causes big problems.
My husband, who I have been with for 21 year and married to for 14 (and have 3 children with), have had our fair share of fights. I know, now looking back, is because I spent so much time going over in my mind all the things I couldn’t stand about him. It got to a point one day that he walked out. Well it was more like a storm out followed by screeching types, but anyway.
There were two choice I could have made that day.
1. Steam and stew over how horrible I thought he was and make up arguments in my mind; things I was going to say to set him straight
or
What I actually did, which saved my marriage
2. I wrote 10 things I loved about him.
I have one of those white boards that hold the huge A3 paper. I grab that and a felt pen and I wrote 10 things I loved about him, and I left it out for him for when he got home.
Now I didn’t do it for his reaction, I didn’t even write it for him. I wrote it for myself. I had to remind myself that although at this point when we were fighting, there were things that were driving me crazy about him, there were more things that I loved about him and who he was.
I wrote things like:
* He goes to work even when he doesn’t want to because he wants to provide well for us
* He is kind and generous not just to me but those around us
* He is a good father
* He is intelligent
* He mows the lawn — something I hate doing :)
Here is a great challenge for this week or even for today
Write down 10 things you love about your partner
Go further, write down 10 things you love about each of your kids
If you are in business, write 10 things you love about your business, staff, clients, suppliers etc.
You reap what you sow. Go sow some love:)
