Parallel Reality
The Republican presidential debate lasted for something like three hours. During this time segment, more than half a dozen well-educated and financially well-off human beings stood on a stage in front of both live audiences and millions and viewers and spit out complete and utter nonsense.
Listening to them felt like being slapped in the face by soggy fish. One of these gentlemen called all illegal immigrants “bad guys” and suggested that he could magically deport all eleven million of them. Another suggested that vaccines cause autism because he had some singular experience with a child that got vaccinated, at which point said child got a high fever — therefore vaccines cause autism.
A few felt that jobs and economic growth were minor topics in comparison to de-funding Planned Parenthood. Two or three suggested putting their wives on the ten-dollar bill. One suggested not changing anything at all, and one wanted another man on that particular currency. One felt some dire urge to phase out medicare.
One suggested that everyone should pay the same percent tax as everyone else. Another suggested that “producers” like hedge-fund managers should pay no taxes at all. Yet another proposed taxing only on purchases, rather than on producers — might have been the same asshole. Hard to tell.
At least one made disparaging comments about the physical looks of a fellow candidate. A few debated prior experience. Jeb appeared to want to desperate defend his brother. Christie — I think — was sure that his judicial experience somehow prepared him for presidency. Might have been someone else, though, since by the end of the night their voices had blurred into one monologue of pure strangeness.
They had some ideas for what kinds of litmus tests they might want all future Supreme Court judges to pass. Questions included “do you believe that an unborn child is a child or a clump of cells” and “do you believe in the first amendment” and whether the potential judge would have a problem with repealing the fourteenth amendment. One promised that should he be elected into office, marriage would instantly return to its pre-Supreme Court definitions.
Another swore that, should he be the elected official of choice, he would instantly make prosecution of pot a priority. Fuck states’ rights, I guess. One tried desperately to suggest that just maybe it wasn’t awful fair for us to send drug users to jail in some cases and let them off in others — based usually on race. He was promptly shut down as crazy. Whoever he was.
I have no idea how any of these rich assholes got to the top, but God save the US if any of them become president.
