The mother of all challenges
For any ordinary student, the university can prove to be a challenging, exhilarating and illuminating intellectual adventure. But uni life can become infinitely more complex when you’re also a parent. Issues such as finding reliable childcare, time management, finances and accessing the right emotional support, all come into play.
“Prior to my enrollment, I had a lot of self-doubt. I wasn’t sure whether I could pull through the three years of study financially and emotionally, but with the right support and information that I received, I knew I could,” explains Kath — who didn’t want to give her real name — a 20-year-old mother studying an Early Childhood Development degree at Roehampton. “Many of my peers work during their studies and very often have other responsibilities to attend also. Besides, student finances offer additional financial support for people like me. “
Kath chose not to tell the university that she is a mother to avoid “being treated differently.” Her partner, Colin, currently works part-time as a personal trainer to help with childcare whilst she studies.
“Every night, despite being tired, I stay up to study as soon as I put my child to sleep. And every morning, I wake up to take my son to the nursery so I can then attend my classes, ” says Kath. “Despite the lack of time, I have managed to become an active member of societies, here at Roehampton. I have met many great people who always praise my organisational skills and hard work without being aware that I am a mother.”
Aimee James, a single parent, is a recent Roehampton graduate. She began studying her Bachelor’s Journalism degree in 2013 while caring for her six-year-old daughter at the age of 22.
“As a parent, I had a completely different academic experience in compared to my peers. As soon as lectures finished, I had to rush to pick up my daughter from school or the child-minder. In class, my classmates often bragged about attending events organised by the university. I never got the luxury of living that life,” Aimee says.
“The lack of family support had a great impact on my mental health and finances. I began to miss classes and my grades went down. There were times I wanted to give up. When I reached out for help, the staff at Roehampton helped me. Lecturers were very lenient towards me in regards to my attendance due to my personal circumstances.”
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‘’On occasions, I couldn’t afford to pay for childcare and had no option but to bring my daughter with me to tutorials with lecturers who were very accommodating. ”
“Sometimes, it seemed like there was not enough time to fit in all my responsibilities. Therefore, I felt like everything was compromised. The student welfare offered me the emotional support I so desperately needed. Being a single mother while studying a degree has been a huge learning curve. I took every day as it came and came out on the other side. “
Jo Eskdale, Student Welfare officer at the University of Roehampton, says she was inspired by the dedication of mothers committed to their studies alongside caring for young children.
“Here at Roehampton, students who are parents have proven to be exceptional. Their academic performance is outstanding, most of the ones I am aware of have proven to be extremely well organised and committed to their studies.”
“Many of those, as well as having children, work part time to support their families throughout their studies. How they do it, I don’t know, they are very devoted. My experience working with parents who are studying is that they really have things sorted out.”
“Most students who wish to speak to us are usually struggling with self-doubt and have problems with their partners. They are often unsure whether they are doing a good job and in most cases, they only need someone who would listen. On some occasions, we would refer them for counselling,” Jo states.
Despite the long nights, early mornings, financial pressures and copious other stresses, mothers in higher education can take a lot of motivation from the example they set for their children.
“Yes, juggling various responsibilities is exhausting but it can be done and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world,” adds mum Kath. “I know one day I will accomplish everything I've set out to do.”
See also: How to overcome your university blues
Help for parents
If you are a full time higher education student with children, you may be eligible to claim additional financial support or emergency hardship loans to help you with your childcare costs during your study. To find out more, contact the Student Finances Department in Richardson Building.
Written by Kinga Claudia Valentino
