Launching: Slightly Browning Fake Plants
Fake plants look too good. We’re fixing that.
Everyone loves plants. No one can take care of them. You’d get a faux plant, but something’s off. Does it look a little too… good? No asymmetric patterns; no broken stems; not a single brown leaf — the telltale signs of a common fake plant.
That’s why we started Slightly Browning Fake Plants, producing the most convincing fake plants on the market. Because who would ever doubt a slightly browning plant?
Our Mission
Your plant is dead. Don’t fool yourself. Don’t try watering it. And don’t you dare go out and buy another succulent. Face it: you can’t take care of plants. No one can.
But everyone should look like they can — at least at a “B” level. No one deserves the leering eye of the gardening leisure class, judging your substandard horticulture, your humiliating lack of southern exposure.
That’s what drives us at Slightly Browning Fake Plants. We aspire to bring you the highest-quality replicas of acceptable-quality plants. Because everyone’s a little hurt; everyone’s a little bent. Everyone is Slightly Browning.
And everyone deserves slightly better.
