Growth doesn’t always look like increase.
The start of a new year sort of breeds reflection doesn’t it? I’ve found myself processing 2017 and looking ahead at 2018, and a few things have jumped out at me. The one I want to share today is that growth doesn’t always mean expansion and increase. Growth doesn’t ONLY look like increasing numbers or “taking new territory”.
Each year, I choose a phrase that will be my “theme” for the year. I listen to what God has been showing me the prior year, and what I sense He wants to do in me in the next. So last January the phrase God laid on my heart was “Slow Down and Savor”. Stop STRIVING and RUSHING, and BE.
Wow, I didn’t realize what God was setting me up for, lol. I NEVER anticipated the year we would have last year (who really does, right?). It started so calmly. Hosted Christmas for my family, had a 6 month old baby who was just getting into a good groove, and Mike was preparing for a shift in his responsibilities at work. I definitely had a sense of growth and learning, but I was comfortable too. And only a few weeks into January, all that began to change. Simple and comfortable went to uncertain, uncomfortable and complicated.
I have learned SO much about savoring, and not even in the ways that I expected to. Savoring my food didn’t happen. I have probably eaten with LESS awareness than ever, and been more rushed. Savoring our home was not a thing either. But even as life went nuts this year, my mode of operating actually slowed down. Less going. Less doing. I was home more, with my kids way more. I learned how to savor the people already in my life, and appreciate what I had rather than focusing on gaining more.
We didn’t live in our home, so I wasn’t organizing and cleaning, or thinking of re-decorating. I didn’t have a babysitter, so I wasn’t planning get togethers or date nights. I didn’t have a routine, so I wasn’t “maximizing my time with accomplishments” or setting big goals for my business.
It was hard for me. I struggled. I’m wired to be an accomplisher. To get stuff done. To love the thrill of expanding and growing. When you are an entrepreneur, there’s a massive amount of guilt that comes with slowing down, with not pushing forward. God and I had some long talks as I sorted out what was going on inside of me, and tried to hear His voice in my circumstances.
What I heard Him say over and over was “appreciate what you have, Jess.” That’s it. Appreciate what I have already given you. Honor the people you already have in your life. Do the best you can to add value to and care well for the people I’ve entrusted to you already.
So that’s what I’ve done. Instead of focusing on expanding my territory, gaining new business, increasing in numbers, I’ve put my energy into thinking about what the people I have really need or want. What would add the most value and how I can honor them and appreciate them as much as possible.
Instead of being concerned with getting up super early, and making the most productive use of every moment, I stayed up too late spending time with the people who housed us, talking and sharing life. Those are cherished memories now.
It’s been a wonderful experience in spite of the challenge of it. Peaceful, joy-filled, purposeful and restful. It has felt so worthwhile, and it has increased my gratitude for all that I already have. I have GROWN — in so many ways. It just hasn’t looked like it’s “supposed” to. And I’ve found, with God, that’s almost always how it is!
