WELL-BEING

Why It’s Okay to Indulge in a Little Self-Love and Enjoy Yourself

Guilty Pleasures: You Deserve to Enjoy Yourself

Oliwia Wilk
Smartacity

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Photo by Leon Ephraïm on Unsplash

Watching 50 Shades of Grey for the thousandth time, waiting for Eurovision every year, getting excited about the same episode of Friends for the tenth time, reading gossips magazine while drinking your morning coffee, singing to your deodorant, reading cheap romances, being obsessed with leopard-print.

Yes, the list of things described as guilty pleasures is extremely long. They are not bad things, they are just embarrassing. Or are often viewed as embarrassing.

Sure, you can watch a Brazilian telenovela for laughs, but to admit that the fate of Maria Eduarda and Carlos is really close to your heart is a bit embarrassing. The problem is that it’s not only immoral acts that are forbidden, but also innocent weaknesses that don’t do anyone much harm.

The definition of guilty pleasure is: something pleasurable that induces a usually minor feeling of guilt

The term guilty pleasure can be applied to anything because a guilty pleasure is anything that one enjoys but feels shame for doing — it can even be drinking milk straight from the carton or licking your fingers after eating, as long as it is considered unfit for a cultured adult.

What’s my guilty pleasure? The thing is, I never feel guilty about pleasures.

— Tom Hiddleston

So why is it forbidden to enjoy them?

According to Sami Schalk, a professor who teaches in the University of Wisconsin’s Department of Gender & Women’s Studies, guilty pleasures are activities or choices that we like but should not. Why? Because they are incompatible with the social canon and can affect our self-image in ways that contradict our perceptions.

Examples:

  • eating unhealthy food,
  • reading “junk” magazines or books considered to be “de-stimulating” like some kind of romances
  • watching reality shows or paradocumentaries
  • performing a whole concert in your bedroom to your old high-school songs

The actual issue might be our perceptions of what our leisure activities imply about who we are. You can watch the Kardashians for as long as you want without becoming any dumber, less moral, or less effective at your work.

Is the term guilty pleasure an excuse?

With the development in popularity of the term guilty pleasure, it became a simple justification or excuse for us to engage in delightful activities without feeling guilty. Is this the case? We will not be able to break free from the vicious circle of guilty pleasure as long as we feel the need to justify resting or engaging in activities that do not offer specific results in terms of productivity.

The thing is that guilty pleasures is something different than total indulgence in everything. A few evenings with a trivial talk show will not wreak havoc on your brain, it only becomes dangerous when your whole life consists of idleness and negligence. Small sins are usually only an addition to a normal life and stir the conscience precisely because they clash a little with the rest, do not fit in. Just a sweet-sinful moment of respite.

On the other hand, if you eat unhealthy foods often, you might tell yourself that it’s okay because it’s your guilty pleasure. This can be used as an excuse to avoid making healthier choices. The same goes for other types of behaviour — if you do something you know you shouldn’t, calling it your guilty pleasure can make it easier to justify to yourself.

In some cases, guilty pleasures can be harmful rather than harmless. That’s why it is so important to keep a healthy balance. We, humans, need those guilty pleasures. We need something that brings us joy and relaxes us, even if it’s considered foolish. Don’t be afraid of your guilty pleasures, just use them wisely.

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Literally anything can be a guilty pleasure. Whether it’s that piece of chocolate cake we eat even though we’re on a diet, watching trashy reality TV shows or squeezing the pimples out.

I have my own guilty pleasures as well and I’m not ashamed of them. Of course, sometimes I make fun of them but they are mine and they do a lot of good to my well-being. If you’re wondering what they are, I’ll answer.

  1. Watching my favourite turkish drama. Sen Çal Kapımı(You Knock On My Door). It’s goofy, a bit cringy and seems like a typical romance-drama kind of thing. But it shows a lot of beautiful turkish views, and let me tell you something, I just adore Turkey. And oh, how it relaxes me right before I go to bed.
  2. Watching a polish version of Hotel Paradise. In a nutshell, it’s a show about how singles are in a beautiful villa somewhere on the other side of the world and the game is on — love or money. Four times a week, I watch their relationships and beautiful views for an hour, evaluating their choices. Often sitting with my dad we ask ourselves why we are actually watching this because it’s so silly. It entertains us and we know that these four times a week, this one specific hour is to enjoy our time together and it became kind of a tradition now.
  3. Watching a paradocumentary simply called, Policewomen and Policemen. Yep, I know it sounds cringy. It kind of is though. But that’s why it is a guilty pleasure. I know it’s know the best television production to ever exist. I know it’s silly, the actors are average and it definitely is not something considered productive. I’ve always loved true crime and everything there is to do with crimes, police and that kind of stuff. The stories shown there are based on true events, and although presented in a less serious way, they still interest me. In a way, it satisfies my curiosity and is something I’m happy to play to relax, for example while making dinner.

Am I ashamed of it? No. I don’t brag about it all around though. Not everyone will understand why these things make me happy and that’s okay. Because these are my things and they are supposed to bring me a little bit of pleasure and make my life a little bit nicer.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

In conclusion, pleasures and by extension, moments of rest and relaxation — should not be associated with wasted time or require excuses. Shameful pleasures are not shameful at all. The guilt that accompanies us when we decide to do something considered shameful should be left way behind you. Enjoy the little things, enjoy your life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, why would you even care? You have a right to pleasure.

Guilty pleasures in most cases are nothing shameful. It may not be the highest level of entertainment, but against all appearances it carries a certain value -one’s well-being — these are always the things that really bring joy.

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Oliwia Wilk
Smartacity

Real-estate and property manager. Interested in non-fiction, true crime and productivity. Gluten-free eater. Editor at Smartacity medium.com/smartacity