Life Lessons for Gourmets (abroad & at home)
🌶️ Never Go Twice! 🌶️
(“Panipuri”, a popular dish in India and Nepal. Pic by author)
Finding a good takeaway, snack bar, or restaurant in a new place is like playing roulette. It’s more about luck and fate than anything. And if you get lucky once, it most likely won’t happen twice. So embrace it and be grateful for it! (author’s experience)
I’m starved! There is only so much you can prepare in a tiny little to-go multipurpose cooker! And walking mountains up and down (they are actually only just minor hills, but my aching body tells a different story) make me hungry.
As does my latest accommodation that comes with thick layers of mold and different kinds of bugs that obviously don’t face the same challenges as I do and happily feed on those dark spots. That I don’t really have the courage to create some simple but yummy homemade food in such a dump might be understandable. So after a sleepless night with a lot of itching sensations, may they be justified and caused by real bugs or just imagined by my far too lively fantasies (it doesn’t really matter), I choose to escape this place of horror and finally treat myself to a yummy feast.
“Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.” (Auguste Escoffier)
My choice is a little place I discovered a few weeks back on one of those rainy days. I have passed longingly ever since and even started dreaming of the lovingly decorated super clean, super fresh, and super affordable food I enjoyed here. A chai (sweet milk tea), potato sticks, and an omelet with a lot of spices are all I need. Especially eggs I’m dreaming of. It’s true that our body tells us when something is missing, as occasionally there is a lot of craving going on for one particular dish: in my case, eggs. After some not-so-good experiences with eggs from little stores that obviously were long expired, I denied myself this pleasure for a long time.
The result is my current state: Eggs dominate my entire being. I wake up (in case I sleep at all) remembering a dream filled with mouthwatering egg dishes piling up in front of me and even tasting still the magical first bite. My last thought before going to bed is particularly this divine omelet, which I could never create with my present equipment (remember the multipurpose cooker that only holds meals for one starved person like me or alternatively on rarer occasions 2 medium hungry people?)
It is an omelet that even made it back home still boiling (or better frying) hot, filled with fresh goodies such as chili, onion, garlic, paprika, and different herbs. One of those really comfy foods, I indulged in with a great appetite.
This is worth mentioning, as that’s not always the case. Especially when it comes to the places I travel to, plus my personal experiences working in multiple-star restaurants in the West while being a student.
And this doesn’t mean I’m picky. I simply believe that when I choose a veggie dish, it should be entirely free from living things. Crawling cockroaches on top of it is simply a no-go. As are the ants that obviously dozed off in the container that holds the sugar and now all of a sudden find themselves fighting for their life on top of my steaming hot Masala chai. In this case, the Chaiwala (tea-seller) in my former second home comes to the rescue of the little fellows as he stoically frees them with a spoon and hands the cup of chai (same tea no replacement!) back to me. His opinion of me is crystal clear: Just another delicate tourist who makes a fuss over nothing!
To be clear here: This is by no means an issue of a certain country or continent. Instead, this little episode reminds me of my teenage years and all those low-paid student jobs when I sold myself out in those popular, certified ‘quality’ restaurants in the West under little devoted bosses and witnessed the same attitude when the cook fished dead (or more likely playing dead as they are known for their survival strategies, deception, and wit) cockroaches out of a huge container full of so-called gourmet sauce and continued to add it nonchalantly to the dishes from the very same pot.
As I have lived (and surely will live in the near future again) through periods without any food at all due to delayed payments, the lack of financial support, and jobs, food is probably more precious almost holy to me than to those who have constant access to it. And on those rare occasions when I eat out (and I’m not talking about 5-star restaurants but cheap little canteen-like places), I at least expect a certain set of basic hygienic standards to be met.
But my experiences around the globe, to say the least, often don’t meet those expectations. Instead, apart from the uninvited crawling extras, there is another ‘ingredient’ I fear more than anything. Especially when I hear all of a sudden someone in the kitchen or serving field starting to cough and clearing his/her throat by spitting out articulately. In this case, my rich imagination (plus the ability to turn the negative into the positive) both fail 100 percent, as I can’t avoid those real-life events popping up.
Like the serving staff in one of my travel destinations who (I just ordered) while cleaning the table, directed a sudden sneeze into his wash clothes. This is not entirely worthy of condemnation (especially once you know what follows), as it can still be interpreted as a sort of awareness and caution to not let ‘IT’ (whatever wants to come out of that throat or nose) cover the table or customer. The only thing condemnable, and I believe you agree with me (or am I totally wrong here?) is that, after two more sneezes in a row that obviously result in a cloth filled up with undesirable ingredients, instead of replacing it with a new clean one, he kept ‘cleaning’ the table with it.
What to Embrace & What to Avoid: Tips for the road
“Food may be essential for the body. But GOOD food is essential for the soul.” (Malcolm Forbes)
After this lengthy, not entirely appetizing description, I figure you will never go to a restaurant again without wondering if the soft texture of your gourmet omelet, the tasty spicy mush filling of your Samosa, or the extra cream on your chai or coffee might harbor some ingredients you didn’t really opt for. And what are these little black spots on your Farmer’s breakfast? Could they be maybe the legs of once or still (I don’t know what is worse) crawling insects?
Of course, I don’t want to discourage you. Therefore, you may find in this article only pics of the good examples: yummy food for less than 1 buck served by dedicated staff in a spotless environment.
Most of the time these are small, family-run places with a surprisingly high amount of customers. Simply watch out for the crowds of locals (in case you are abroad) and the very reasonable prices. Authentic local gourmet treasures can be often found in little, cheap-looking huts and outdoor places. Street vendors are most of the time a better choice than 5-star restaurants, though I have never tried the latter. Plus, you have the advantage of having the kitchen under close watch;)
Avoid by all means any place where the cooking area is hidden, and you hear a lot of coughing and spitting going on from the inside! Say a little prayer before you eat, just in case.;) And never ever go twice to a place you loved! Instead, be grateful for a splendid, memorable first time and indulge in these memories for as long as possible, acknowledging that it can and will never be the same again! Instead, it most likely will rapidly get worse.
Needless to say: These are solely repetitive experiences of my humble self that seem to be a rule of thumb wherever I go. I’m happy if yours are different, and you are able to enjoy grand food in the same place more than once. I myself will return happily to my very own homemade gourmet food created with all sorts of spices and fresh herbs in a tiny little multipurpose cooker. No crawling things, boogers, or mucus as ‘secret’ ingredients! Guaranteed!
Bon appétit, Smacznego (“Enjoy” as they say in Poland), Itadakimasu (“I receive this food” in Japanese), Dear Fellow Food Lovers!
🌶️ Thank you for Reading! 🌶️
#humour, #satire, #food, #life lessons, #travel
Originally published at https://being-amazed.com on March 4, 2023.
