Rejected QAnon conspiracies
Failed the laugh test
Jeffrey Denny
According to my Dark Web sources, QAnon is seeking to go further mainstream, and even eventually get on the New York Stock Exchange, by improving the plausibility of its conspiracy theories.
“We can’t just float all kinds of crazy sh*t,” QAnon’s CEO, Q, said in an exclusive interview with the Wall Street Journal that was off the record, on deep background and not for attribution.
As a result, many wild narratives pitched to Q, while solid in concept, didn’t make the cut:
President Trump didn’t really go to Walter Reed for Covid-19 treatment.
That’s what they want you to think. In fact he went to Wakanda, which we know as Mar-a-Lago.
Trump needed a shot of vibranium to regain his White Panther superhuman abilities, demonstrate that Covid doesn’t dominate life, and unite his MAGA tribes to defeat the Antifa BLM mobs, immigrant hoards and progressive-controlled Sleepy Demented Joe Biden. And then continue isolating America from the world like Wakanda needed to.
Trump’s Covid diagnosis is a Deep State false flag.
It’s all fake news and contrived videos like the moon landing, TikTok and Kayleigh McEnany defending Trump while infected with Trump Covid.
The radical left-wing’s diabolical scheme was to force MAGAs to believe in science, reflect on their selfish, reckless ignorance about masks and distancing, and feel a sense of shame like liberals do every day about almost everything.
The hateful liberals are gleeful about Trump’s Covid diagnosis and sent fake thoughts and prayers.
Everyone knows this is false, which is why Trump’s media keeps hammering that it’s true.
The loving conservatives, on the other hand, were genuinely mournful and sat shiva for what seemed like forever over the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. They did not grin like evil Jack-o’-lanterns about rushing to fill Ginsburg’s seat before it cooled, nor feel any shame like liberals about their naked hypocrisy after blocking Obama’s election-year pick.
The ghost of Justice Ginsburg controls the high court.
She is demonically possessing Chief Justice John Roberts to join the moderates in ruling for the plaintiff in the case of Godless v. God to overturn the Bible and allow the killing of babies from conception to the age of 21. And beyond if they’re living at home after college.
Dr. Tony Fauci is fake.
He’s not even a doctor, let alone an epidemiologist. Fauci is actually a liberal Hollywood actor playing doctor. No, not Brad Pitt — more like Henry Winkler.
Fauci acts like he’s The Fonz and The President of the United States is his little cousin Chachi.
Interesting how you never see Fauci and Winkler in the same room together, right?
The liberals have dirt on Chris Wallace.
They clearly blackmailed Wallace to disrespectfully interrupt, scold and generally treat President Trump like the bratty child he was during the first presidential debate. Instead of genuflecting to Trump’s regally powerful and dominating presence.
Chris Wallace is a Deep State plant on Fox
In fact, a BOMBSHELL EXPOSE on 8Chan revealed that Mike Wallace, the late liberal fake news mainstream media “journalist” and CBS “60 Minutes” host, had a son named Chris who became a journalist.
Coincidence? I don’t think so!
The Socialist DemocRats are rigging the 2020 election.
They’re undermining trust in mail-in ballots, limiting ballot boxes, cutting the U.S. Postal Service, and sending thugs to “monitor” polling places and intimidate voters, among many nefarious vote-suppression tactics. The DemocRats, like old tin-pot dictators, are also planning to declare the election results illegitimate if they lose.
Doubt this? How could stupid liberals win any other way than by cheating?
CDC-approved Covid masks spread liberalism.
They’re impregnated with a chemical cooked up in George Soros’ underground Dr. Evil laboratories that causes people to think critically, question Fox News state propaganda, and stupidly care about others at the expense of their individual liberty.
Victims insist on doing their part to end the pandemic so we can safely reopen the schools, economy and country.
Anderson Cooper and partner Andy Cohen co-chair a secret liberal commission that determines what letters to add to LGBTQ+.
Their goal is to expand cancel-culturing. Leading candidates include:
· The letter P as in pan-sexuality, meaning the freedom to do whatever with anyone as you choose together. (Also, according to HuffPo, it means being offended and declaring your identity is being erased when people ask fumbling offensive questions even if they’re just wondering how pan-sexuality works because it sounds awesome.)
· The letter M as in marrieds, people who avoid sex with their spouses after the third year except as required on birthdays.
· The letters AOC as in old fat white male Republican Congressmen who can’t hire smart young women for their looks to sexually harass them anymore. So they’re obsessed with U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in a sexually repressed way like nerdy schoolboys crushing on cute girls who want nothing to do with them because they’re creepy.
California wildfires cause global warming, not the other way around.
Duh!
Nickelodeon’s Dora the Explorer is Hollywood propaganda.
Goal: to indoctrinate America’s children to become liberal globalists who stupidly obsess about the planet and humanity and are inspired by George Soros puppet Greta Thunberg.
The Proud Boys aren’t really proud.
They also aren’t boys, except, as it’s tragically clear, emotionally.
Have pity that behind the bully facade they’re actually insecure, self-loathing grown men with wounded inner children. They’re just acting out, as the renowned psychologist Dr. Elton John put it, a simple case of mummy-doesn’t-love-me blues.
It’s not easy to come up with QAnon conspiracies that sound real enough to fool all the people all the time.
But as QAnon’s hero, Donald Trump, has demonstrated, you only need to fool some of the people all the time.
Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.
