The Honest Mom’s Dictionary
Tablet
another hour of sleep
Caillou
bald Satan
Pacifier
mute button
A “cooker”
Another word for chef/what my daughter wants to be when she grows up (she only likes cheese, chicken nuggets, and pizza soooooo)
Mermaid
The thing your child says they want to be that makes you rethink using the phrase “you can be anything you want”
Nap time
There’s so much to do! I’ll just start with loading the dishw — whoops, they’re awake already.
Sleep
*blank entry*
Ocean
what the bathroom floor looks like after bath time
YouTube Kids
Never-ending toy videos, adults talking in weird/annoying voices, and videos of children screaming but, hey, at least they are able to tell you what they want for Christmas —soooo how much is a week long vacation, staying in the Legoland resort’s biggest suite?…
Playdate
An invitation you only accept if you really like the parents
Homework
Just kill me now.
White (pants/couch/carpet/anything)
LOL
Clean
-blank entry-
Cold
What everyone thinks your baby is ALL the time
Upstairs
The place I tell the kids to go play so the moms can talk about them without them hearing
Hatchimals
Ten minutes of fun until it’s forever forgotten
Quiet
Time to check if your kids are still alive… or what they are doing… -gulp-
Cow Life
My self-appointed term for my life while I am breastfeeding
Stain Remover
My best friend
Magic Eraser
My second best friend
Scotchguard
My third best friend
Sorry
A word we say a lot in my house
Stupid
A word we don’t say in my house
Trolls (movie)
A word I never want to hear again in my house
Love
What it’s all about
