Save the Drama
For Your Momma
While my son rode the bus to kindergarten that first morning, I cried as I walked up the driveway. Now what? He was what I did all day. How dare he leave me at the age of five!
Oh, wait. He wasn’t leaving for college? He’d be home again at three-fifteen?
Oh well, very good then. I can do this, I thought.
I could and I did, but not without finding ways to insert myself into his long days away from home. Or, was it my long days? No matter.
An elementary school offers a variety of opportunities to show up, be present and volunteer. If there was a sign-up list, my name was probably on it.
Once per week, on Tuesdays, I spent an hour in my son’s classroom helping with what the teacher called learning centers. There were five stations, through which groups of five children rotated, experiencing something related to the week’s learning theme. Some stations were more fun than others, with play doh or shaving cream, while others involved pencils and worksheets. I always hoped for the pencils and worksheets. I’m practical that way. And, there was generally less conflict in those stations.
Although, did you know a pencil’s length, sharpness and eraser color can be of huge importance to a six year old? Lots of skirmishes over pencils occur in kindergarten.
The morning of my first visit, I learned two distinct and valuable lessons.
First, any person who can wrangle twenty-five, five and six year olds should be given a badge or halo. When I left after only sixty minutes in the classroom, my head was spinning. I needed five minutes with my eyes closed in the car before I could even start the engine.
Over time, I did begin to build a good tolerance for the craziness that is kindergarten. It was like lifting weights. The more I did it, the stronger I got.
Second, kindergarten has to be a team sport. There is neither time, nor energy to focus on the individual wants and needs of each child at their whim. For goodness sake, did I tell you there were twenty-five of them?
As the months rolled by, through steamy days, falling leaves and floating white flakes, I learned — oh boy, did I learn! In fact, I might have learned more than the children. I came to know each individual name and personality. Some of us hit it off — and with other children, it could be a struggle. It’s true, even between adults and children, the gears of personality do not always mesh. I took my cues from the teacher and aide in the classroom and became an adequate shepherd of the sheep.
One morning, a little girl was throwing a tantrum in the puppet area. “I want the giraffe! Give me the giraffe! I’m telling on you!”
Mrs. May walked over wearing her figurative conflict resolution hat. “Lexie, what’s going on?”
“I want the giraffe!’ she wailed.
“But Lexie, Max is playing with the giraffe. Look here is the puppet box — take the zebra, the lion — look, here’s an alligator,” Mrs. May said with a forced smile. It was only nine-thirty and the morning had already been a trying one.
“Nooooooo! I want the giraffe!” Lexie fussed on.
And then, I heard the phrase that both shocked and enlightened me. Mrs. May said through her forced smile, “Lexie, save the drama for your momma! We must share and get along in kindergarten.”
“Lexie, save the drama for your momma. We must share and get along in kindergarten.”
Those words were not a magic bullet. Lexie carried on with her boo-hooing until she could be re-directed to something more intriguing than the giraffe she had attached her thoughts on.
But, that simple phrase, which at first might sound harsh, actually makes a lot of sense — in kindergarten and in life.
It directly sent the message of ‘Life is bigger than little old you’.
I went on to get a job at the elementary school. For six years, I spent my days in a room with twenty-five young children led by one or two adults. I began using the following phrases on a regular basis.
Save the drama for your momma.
and
You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
Our primary job as kindergarten teachers was to socialize twenty-five free agents into a kindergarten team. If one child chose to throw a tantrum or cause a scene, they were taking away from the other twenty-four children in the room. We worked hard to cultivate an atmosphere in which children could peacefully resolve their own conflicts. Of course, it was a constant learning process.
We all want to be special and get our own way, but it’s not feasible in a group situation. There must be give and take.
Yes, you are special. Bring your uniqueness to the world, but search hard. Find ways to strengthen the team that is called humanity, by contributing your part to the whole.
Did you know that the greatest lessons taught in kindergarten have nothing at all to do with reading, writing and arithmetic?
Think back — even if it’s been a few years.
Everything you need to know about life, is taught in kindergarten.
