You’re Not Entitled to Anyone’s Truth

Even if you love them, you’re not entitled.

Recently I was in a debate chat where a discussion was centered around whether or not a trans person has an obligation to disclose their birth sex if they’ve surgically transitioned, or mention their current body organs, if they’ve not.

“Do you think it’s wrong for a trans person to never tell their partner they are trans?”

The question was phrased basically like “Do you think it’s wrong for a trans person to never tell their partner they are trans.”

Uh, like… what? What the af kind of relationships have these question askers and answerers been in? What even is a relationship to them that they’re anticipating people don’t share their truths in healthy, personal ways?

People who identify as transgender are people first. They’re humans with feelings and this question completely dismisses that point. This question objectifies people, as if they’re chess pieces to be moved around. It objectifies relationships, as if all relationships are subject to prescreening and approval. It’s cold and transactional.

To ask this question and even to answer this question means you’re not safe for people who identify as trans.