A Plea From a Compassionate Slave Owner
To All Persons Considering Abolitionism,
It has come to my unfortunate attention that denigrating the modest slave owner has become fashionable as of late. Admittedly, many slave owners don’t treat their brutes with compassion — they rape, beat, and torture their property. Though the savages are below our species, I abhor those who treat their slaves with such barbarous practices. However, many consumers let the malicious acts of few lead them to abolitionism: the boycotting of all products relating to slavery. I wish to convince you that this is a most irrational position. There are many farmers nowadays who practice humane slavery: we provide our slaves with food, shelter, and purpose as we allow them all the proper freedoms a brute would require. After hearing my plea, even those most sympathetic to the savages will understand that my job is both necessary and just. Given the shift to abolitionism, the compassionate slave owner — now, more than ever — needs the support of those concerned with slave welfare.
The first point I make is thus: Slavery is a positive institution for the savages. If not for the slave owner, who would feed the brutes? The unintelligent savages would roam the streets, starve, and perhaps even inflict havoc on this great nation. This is something that I believe no proper citizen would desire, and I assure you that the savage would prefer to stay enslaved over this so-called freedom. Having properly acknowledged this argument, an astute reader will interject: “No life at all is preferable to a life of slavery! You must stop breeding the slaves and phase out your horrible business.” How could I ever disagree more, for God created the brute to serve this very purpose! Throughout the scriptures God condones my practice, and would God condone a practice that was harmful to his lovely creation? It is by His word that I live, and I trust His ability to create beings that find bliss in their purpose. In my slave owning, I am simply showing compassion towards the brutes that God himself would.
To truly convince my reader of my humaneness towards the slaves, I must contrast myself against my more malevolent competitors. The larger farms practice rape, mutilation, and torture while confining their brutes to such tight living quarters that disease cannot help but spread. Recognizing this irredeemable evil, we must consider my farm, where I avoid these methods as much as possible. Instead, I provide my brutes with all of the space that they need, and feed them proper nourishment. In making this comparison, we see my immense compassion towards the brutes. Yet, somehow the consumer allows their barbarous methods to outcompete my humane practices! If you are a reasonable consumer who cares about the welfare of the brutes, I beg you to realize this immense compassion I display towards my slaves by providing them with adequate living conditions. In doing so, you will find it morally acceptable to continue purchasing slave products from my farm — where I treat my slaves with the utmost humanity.
Though I have many arguments in support of the justness and necessity of my profession, I will end my modest plea with one point: The slaughter of the brute is dealt with the utmost humanity. I will be the first to admit that it brings me no joy to end the life of one of God’s creatures, but my conscience is clear as I take every precaution to ensure that the brute dies in a most quick and painless manner. And the savage’s death is but an instant in its peaceful life where it’s provided with a free-range and an easy life. Even if the experience of death is unpleasant to the brute, its life has been dedicated to the fulfillment of its purpose, and it should take pride in its noble sacrifice to us. As such, I hope you no longer denigrate the compassionate slave owner, but support us in our fight against unnecessary suffering in this fallen world.
Sincerely,
Sean Goodlife
P.S.: If you still believe that slavery is immoral, I implore you apply the principle equally across those who experience pain and suffering. You’ll find that even pigs don’t deserve to be enslaved — how ridiculous!
