How Going Gluten-Free for Celiac Disease Prepared Me for Quitting Drinking
Guest post by Christina Heiser
After dealing with bloating and stomach pain throughout my 20s, I was finally diagnosed with celiac disease in my early 30s, right around the time the COVID-19 pandemic started.
For those unfamiliar, celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that causes your immune system to attack healthy cells in your small intestine when you eat gluten. Over time, the intestinal damage caused by untreated celiac disease can lead to things like osteoporosis, infertility, and intestinal cancer.
To avoid all of this, I’d have to stick to a strict gluten-free diet — for the rest of my life — since there aren’t any medications or treatments available for this condition. While I was relieved to have an answer to what was causing my stomach issues, I was overwhelmed by having to make this big adjustment.
I was especially worried that my social life would change for the worse now that I had to be so vigilant about how I ate. Anxious thoughts raced through my mind: Would I be seen as someone who was seriously uncool because I had dietary restrictions and had to ask waiters a million questions about how the food was prepared? Would my friends just drop me altogether because I was so difficult to accommodate?
On top of that, I also decided to cut out alcohol a couple of years after going gluten-free, so I was even more limited in what I could eat and drink during social gatherings. By this time, though, I knew what steps to take to maintain my friendships without alcohol in my life — and I was confident that my friends wouldn’t ditch me when I told them I wasn’t drinking anymore.
Yep, it turned out that navigating celiac disease in social situations was pretty similar to navigating being alcohol-free in social situations — and what I experienced in my first couple of years of going gluten-free helped prepare me for transitioning to an alcohol-free lifestyle.
Navigating Social Situations With Celiac Disease
For the first year of my celiac diagnosis, in 2020, no one was doing much in-person socializing. But once businesses started opening up back in 2021, my friends wanted to resume hanging out — which, as 30-something women in New York City, naturally revolved around going to restaurants and bars. I didn’t want to rock the boat, so I went to whatever establishments my friends suggested — even if I knew from my research where we were going wasn’t celiac-safe.
One time, I agreed to grab an outdoor lunch at a pizza place in my neighborhood. This spot advertised gluten-free pizza, but when I called them beforehand, I learned that they didn’t have any room in their kitchen to prepare the gluten-free pizza away from the regular pizza. Instead of speaking up and asking my friends if we could eat lunch somewhere else, I went along with the plan and ordered the gluten-free pizza anyway. My stomach bothered me a little bit afterwards, but I pretended I felt fine.
At my next doctor’s appointment, I had a blood test to check my gluten antibody levels. They were elevated, which meant I was somehow being exposed to gluten. My doctor suspected that I was inadvertently eating gluten while dining at all these restaurants with my friends.
I had to make a change in how I approached my social life for the sake of my health — even if I felt awkward about it. This is what prompted me to start advocating for myself and taking a more active role in planning outings with my friends.
If, for example, a friend wanted to schedule a Friday night dinner for a group of us, I would ask the group if I could choose the restaurant. I’d text something along the lines of, “I’d love to try X place because it’s supposed to have good gluten-free options.”
I was afraid my friends would say no — or stop including me in their plans — but that wasn’t the case at all. I’ve yet to have a friend push back when I’ve asked if we could eat at a certain gluten-free restaurant — and in many cases, my friends now ask for my recommendations upfront or look for places that can accommodate me before we make plans.
Deciding to Ditch the Alcohol
After I found out I had celiac disease, I started downing two or three glasses of red wine after work every night at home. I wasn’t only anxious and depressed about my diagnosis, but I was also seriously stressed out about the ongoing pandemic.
I thought alcohol would calm my nerves, but once the initial soothing effect wore off, it left me feeling more on edge. On top of that, I have a pretty sensitive gut already, and all that red wine was giving me a raging case of heartburn that wouldn’t go away.
For these reasons, my doctor said I would be better off not drinking alcohol at all anymore. I didn’t take her advice right away, but shortly after our conversation I experienced the worst hangover of my life — I was hunched over my toilet puking for hours — and I did indeed quit drinking for good in late 2022.
I had participated in Dry January a few times previously and always marveled at how much more energy and mental clarity I had when I didn’t drink. Plus, I had a sense of confidence that my social life wouldn’t totally fizzle out based on how I was able to navigate things after my celiac diagnosis. This all made my choice to quit drinking easier.
I was able to use the tools I had developed while living with celiac disease to navigate alcohol-free hangouts. For example, if my friends want to go out for a drink, I like to take the lead in planning and suggest meeting up somewhere that has a zero-proof drink menu so I can order a fun non-alcoholic cocktail (rather than a boring club soda). I’m also a fan of planning coffee dates and workout classes — two social situations that don’t revolve around food or alcohol.
I’d like to point out that this approach didn’t work for all of my friendships. I had a few relationships that were solely built around drinking, and I naturally drifted apart from those friends since we didn’t have much in common anymore once I ditched the booze.
But because the sober curious lifestyle is having such a moment right now, I’ve noticed that many people in my life are quitting drinking (or significantly cutting back) these days. So, no one really bats an eye when I tell them I don’t drink — and more of my friends than ever are down for hangs that don’t involve sitting in a bar over beers or cocktails.
How I Have Fun Without Alcohol (or Gluten)
The last four years of my life have taught me that it’s entirely possible to still have fun with my friends even though I now have dietary restrictions and no longer drink. Hopefully, the tips that have helped me maintain my social life can help you too.
- Take charge when making plans. Tell your friends you’d like to pick the spot the next time you hang out. I keep a running list of gluten-free restaurants and bars with NA drinks in my area, so I’m always ready with a suggestion (or two or three).
- Host a get-together. Have people over to your place. That way, you can control the food and drink options and don’t have to worry about being in an environment that doesn’t feel safe to you. I’ve hosted book club nights and Dry January happy hours at my apartment.
- Organize a non-food or drink-related hang. There are plenty of ways to socialize that don’t involve food or alcohol. I like to grab coffee (which, thankfully, is naturally gluten-free!) or take a yoga or Pilates class with friends. You could also go to a museum or, if it’s nice out, take a walk through the park.
- Find a community of like-minded people. After I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I joined a local celiac meetup group — and once I stopped drinking, I also started going to sober events in my city. This has allowed me to make so many new friends who share my values and interests.
Your turn!
We’d love for you to share in the comments:
- Has your social life changed since getting sober? How about your friendships?
- What are your favorite ways to socialize in sobriety?
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Christina Heiser is a New York City-based health writer and editor who’s gluten-free and sober. Christina’s work has been published in a variety of publications, including Women’s Health, Shape, and aSweatLife. When she’s not working, you can find Christina traveling the world in search of the best gluten-free eats and zero-proof cocktails. You can find more of Christina’s work on her Substack, Celiac Self-Care.
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