My Sobriety Story with Jamie Marie

“You have the power to change your life.”

This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition is by Jamie Marie, an Energetic Healer and Connection Guide/Recovery Coach at A Connected Life Recovery. Jamie Marie believes in the healing power of connection and nature as an essential pillar of recovery. You can find her newsletter at A Connected Life with Jamie Marie.

When and how did you get sober?

I got sober from alcohol in June 2019. I had been struggling with alcohol on and off for about 15 years. Sometimes I would go long periods of time without drinking, but it always managed to sneak back up, starting with one and then all of a sudden I would be having two or three drinks a night or cracking a beer in the morning. There was always an “excuse” to drink.

I never felt good about it, but it took me a long time to realize I had a “problem.” I felt a lot of shame about how I drank for years. I felt like I had to hide it, and I felt like crap physically and mentally.

I remember the exact moment I made the choice to change my life. I walked to my fridge, grabbed a beer, sat it on the counter, cracked it open, and then just stared at it. I don’t know if I was standing there for two minutes or two hours, but I remember looking at it, looking around my apartment, looking at my life, and thinking: “I can’t do this anymore.”

I tuned in to how absolutely shitty I felt about myself and thought: “There has to be more than this. There has to be a better way. I have to find it. I have to change.” I never drank that drink or another one since.

To be honest, my goal at that moment wasn’t to get sober. My goal was to feel better and be happier, but I knew that the first step was no longer drinking.

What surprised you about getting sober?

I think what surprised me about getting sober was realizing it was my choice. I wasn’t a victim or powerless to addiction, and I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone.

I realized this about two days in when someone offered me a drink and, in my mind, my first thought was: “Well, you can say yes and have a drink, because technically you’re not sober yet.”

This thought was immediately followed by: “What are you talking about? You’re two days sober. If you follow that logic and have a drink every time you’re offered one because you’re not sober yet then you’ll never be sober!”

What surprised me after getting sober was realizing how much I had been repressing, learning who I was without alcohol, and that I could be happy, content, and feel peace. Also how much possibility life holds, and how much color and beauty there is in the world. The journey hasn’t always been easy, but you can’t beat participating fully in life.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your recovery journey?

Finding my own words for talking about addiction in my life.

I grew up in a home with two parents who were sober from alcohol. I heard a lot of negative language surrounding addiction and alcohol, so I grew up with a very different image in my mind of what it meant to struggle with a substance misuse issue.

I thought having an addiction meant you were a bad person who did bad things and couldn’t keep their life together. I wasn’t a bad person, I always had a job, and my bills were always paid. I wasn’t excelling in life, but I wasn’t hurting anyone except myself so I found it difficult to realize or accept that I had any kind of problem.

Throughout recovery, I have struggled with the language, stigma, judgment, shame, and fear surrounding addiction. It made it difficult to open up and talk about it without feeling judged, shamed, or misunderstood. I finally got to a place where I realized I can do my part to help change how we speak about addiction and anyone who struggles.

What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?

I feel like the benefits are endless, and life gets better and better. It sure as shit might not feel that way in the beginning, but if you stick with it and keep trying new things, exploring, and learning about yourself, you end up feeling better in every single area of life.

You’re present for your life. It’s not all roses and sunshine, but you learn how to navigate and appreciate the good and the difficult. There is beauty in it all.

You become empowered in your life. You feel good about yourself free from the cycle of shame and anxiety that addiction keeps you trapped in. The gift of sobriety is truly learning who you are, and getting to know yourself on a much deeper level.

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

I would say keep at it, be gentle with yourself, have compassion for yourself, and explore new things that are healing, such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, energy healing, and forest bathing. Find events where you can meet new people. Get curious about exploring something completely new — opening your mind and your world to new ideas and possibilities.

Also educate yourself about addiction. This was so empowering for me. And the more you understand trauma and addiction, the more you understand yourself and are able to hold more compassion and acceptance for yourself. We heal through love, not through shame.

Remember you are not a victim or powerless to life or addiction. You may have had bad things happen to you, but you now have the power to make the best choice for you. You have the power to change your life.

Find support, whatever that looks like for you. You absolutely can get sober and live a beautiful life free from addiction.

Want to share your sobriety story?

Thank you for sharing, Jamie Marie! We look forward to connecting with you in the comments.

Want to be published on Sober.com? If you’re a sober writer, we invite you to contribute! Reach out to hello@danaleighlyons.com for details.