Memoirs of a Girl
But for me, it’s so painful to talk about it. At this age, when I should be at peace the Japanese Government keep dragging out this issue. So, whenever I have to talk about this over and over, I’m heartbroken beyond belief. — Kim Bok-Dong
I’ve written a post on this topic before, but ethnicity has been a factor that I feel has greatly affected my life; however, it is also something I’ve felt strangely alienated from as well. Growing up I did watch Korean dramas, bow for New Years, learn Korean, watch anime, eat the wonderful variety of snacks Japan has to offer, and all the things that Asians do. This is the epitome of me being Asian and Korean, right? Then why do I feel like someone pretending to be Korean? (I guess you could say Koreaboo, but that’s just a sad thing to be smh).
Honestly, I don’t know much about Korea or its culture and history. My knowledge is limited to what I learned from that one paragraph in the World History textbook pertaining to East Asia, what my parents have briefly mentioned, and what I see in the media. It’s kind of sad knowing that you know absolutely nothing of substance about your own country, but then again I actually used to hate Koreans. I believed that they were selfish, rude, loud, and cowards… Not that I really think this anymore. My views have become more positive since then. Anyways, I’m back on this talk about ethnicity again because I saw a video the other day. It’s about the comfort women from Korean during Japan’s occupation of Korea. I’ve heard of the atrocities that Japan committed during WWII and prior from my parents and from watching Ip Man (LOL when your history knowledge comes from martial arts movies), but I’ve never felt a connection. When I say connection, I mean the emotion of anger, disgust, and resentment I should feel towards Japan for treating our people the way they did. But… I didn’t feel any. Nothing. I have apathy issues and also WWII for me was a long time ago, which might be part of the reason why, but I should feel something right? All I could muster up was “that was horrible”. That is until I watched an interview on YouTube about a survivor of those times.
Her name is Kim Bok-Dong and she’s 93 years old. At the age of 14 she was forced from her home and sent to China with the false belief that she would be sewing uniforms for the Japanese army in a factory… until she was raped. Constantly. Everyday. There would be a line of soldiers, waiting for their turn. Using the money her mother gave her to use for when she’s hungry, she tried committing suicide by drinking alcohol (38–63%). To this day her stomach has been permanently damaged. Eight years later, she was home.
Even for someone who has apathy issues, I was upset. I felt angry for her, and I felt angry for all the other young women who had to go through that experience. It was a systematic raping and that’s not okay. (Well any type of rape isn’t ok). I finally felt like I understood even a little of why the elderly people in Korea have such a strong hatred towards the Japanese. As a child I remember wondering why we couldn’t all just make peace and “forgive” each other. That was insensitive of me. I had no right to think that because I never understood what they went through. People can say that they “understand” all they want, but that’s not true. It’s not that they’re lying, but you don’t know what someone is going through unless you’ve experienced their life.
So do I hate Japanese people now? No. Do I think they’re a little fucked up? Well, yea I’ve always thought that LOL. They’re the ones who inspired the story for the Hunger Games, they have the weirdest and biggest sex industry, and they did some nasty shit during the war (like fucking a duck.. or was it a dog, which you can read about in Unbroken. You’re welcome 😌. Another side note, it’s funny how they seem so normal and they’re known as such a polite country. It’s the low key crazy ones you have to watch out for I tell ya!). But on a more serious note, yea, I don’t feel hatred towards my Japanese friends or all the other Japanese people I’ve met or even the country. Park Bok-Dong said “hate the sin and not the sinner.” Although Japan has still not formally apologized for what they have done, I pray for that day to come. I pray for all of the victims to find peace when it does. It’s not like I’ve “become Korean” after watching this interview, but I do feel a little closer to the history and the people. It’s strange what some knowledge and sympathy can do. The past isn’t something we can erase and we shouldn’t. People tend to forget about the bad and only want to remember the good. Whether it be because they do not want to take accountability, or it’s a painful memory, we shouldn’t forget. I think as humans, what sets us apart is our ability to constantly empathize and sympathize with the people around us and strangers. We’re able to deviate from our baser instincts or self-serving tendencies and spread some good in this world.
