My childhood abuse will not define me as an adult
Last time I left off telling you the effects of domestic violence, I also included that I have a personal history with domestic violence. As children, my siblings and I were only observers to the violence my dad would inflict on my mom. Although he never physically abused us, the psychological effect was just as great. I want to share my story as an example to others that the abuse you experience, whether mental or physical does not need to take over your life. you may be going down or headed to a place that is dark and lonely but you can come out of it resilient and prospering in future. The many negative effects that comes with abuse you must find the light at the end of the tunnel and keep going.
Learned violence in children can cause behavioral issues in adulthood. Children who watch violence typically grow up to be violent, thinking that this learned behavior is okay. In my case my little brother and sister who are in their teens are both struggling with anger issues and anxiety, as I did growing up. My brother has become more violent throughout the years. I believe that this is from years of watching and experiencing abuse. My dad would punish my brother more harshly, such as with a slap or punch to the chest. I know he got it worse than us girls because he was a boy. My mom has worked to remove this violent mentality that my dad installed in my brother. My father has not been actively involved in our lives for about 12 years. After my mother left the abuse we use to visit him but it never felt right for me. The fear and anxiety would always will my body with anger, anger towards him, anger towards my mother and angry at myself. Because I was the oldest I use to be very protective of my siblings around my father because I had seen what he was capable of and I knew how the slightest things could make him upset. Staying with him on the weekends was torture, it was like walking on eggshells with a muzzle on your mouth. I begged my mom not to make me go back and she didn’t. It’s important that when you are dealt one bad parent, having another parent or adult figure involved can greatly increase the chance that a child becomes another statistic.
According to researchers, children do not have to be physically abused to experience hardship from domestic abuse. The act of watching is great enough that a child can be influenced. Many statistics show that having a traumatic experience like this at an early age may experience developmental issues. I did not experience development issues but my younger brother acted out in school and had behavioral issues because of the loss of his dad. Children from a lower social economic class are three times more likely to experience adverse experiences than children who are from a high social economic status. Domestic violence often causes the child to lose one or both of their parents depending on the extent of the situation. Children who grow up without a good father or father figure, often lack things that should be taught by a parent. Some of these things that a dad should teach their sons a mother lacks and vice versa. Overall, it depends on the child, trauma is not an easy thing to get over and just like people grief differently people also heal differently. Other may heal faster and some may heal slow but the person must be willing. Children who grow up and are continuously abused until adulthood may be severely damaged to the point there is no return. An adult knows right from wrong but a damaged child who grows up to have more detrimental issues psychology may need more help from healthcare professionals. In adulthood they may have “decreased odds of getting married, reduced educational attainment, and reduced income and net worth in adulthood,” causing more issue and possible violence later.
Early development of a child is a very detrimental stage in a child like. children are learning and acquiring the skills they will use far into adulthood. The absence of stability and the presence of violence can cause long term effects that may be psychologically irreversible. Child maltreatment can be avoided by parents that involved in a healthy environment and relationship. Also, the cycle of abuse must stopped with this generation because the trauma that many children experience is what ultimately causes the disruption in a child’s life.
