Tell No Lies & Keep No Secrets
It’s time to share what’s been hidden for years…
A hundred eyes are looking at me. Cuz I don’t fit the box they know. I’m cool just being all I can be. – Bratz, So What
There are so many eyes that have looked and easily judge me for everything I do, say, act and overall look. And that has always affected how I dress, how I treat myself, how I view the world, how I think, overall how I live my life. And I’m completly and entirely sick and tired of letting these things take control of everything that I have complete control of. This is my time, my year, my body, and my life and I’m gonna live it the way I want to. No more haters are gonna dictate how I live my life anymore. I’m done.
This is a new change for a new and improved life as a new and improved me. And I can’t wait to see and enjoy the results of achieving this. After all, this is my life. I have control and every right to have a say in all these areas of my life. I can choose something and refuse to decline an opportunity that may affect my mental health or anything that I value and anything that’s important to me; in any way. I have that right. I’m gonna be 20 October 25 this year and I am at the age where I have more of a say in more things and can choose things that are what I think and believe are best for me.
I’ve had many dreams and still have the same ones (in which I still also believe in), and I believe that I still have what it takes to achieve them. Accomplishing self love, being able to love myself, being comfortable in my own skin and in greater outcomes, more confident and proud then ever before, I stopped caring what others think (which have affected what direction I follow, which have also changed numerous times). Because I only care about what I want, what I think, what matters and what I value.
And I’m not willing to sacrifice anything like my mental health to become a better person of what my parents or family want or expect me to be. I’m done risking and sacrificing my mental health, dreams, life purpose, passion and everything else that I’ve ever cared for that matters a great deal to me.
“No matter what the dream is made of. That dream is not to be afraid of.” – Bratz, It Could Be Yours
“No one can tell you who you really are. No one can take the will for you. Cuz everybody is their own star.”
I don’t care what they say. I don’t care what they do.
It’s All About You
It’s not about the mistakes you make but more of how you let them affect you and your life. How you respond to them. Will you let them destroy you, define you or strengthen you?
It’s not about the money you make. It’s not about the little mistakes. It’s not about the people you know. You’ll be fine on your own. It’s not about the clothes that you wear. It’s not about the car I swear. It’s the little things you say and you do. It’s all about you. – Bratz, All About You
New Improvements:
Lately in the past month, I haven’t been myself and I’ve thought it through on my own. And which have been mainly around my mental state. My mental health issues I’ve had in the past, my recovery and then still in the process of figuring out what’s going on. What the answer to what is happening. My brain. It’s your brain, you gotta care for it in all the right ways. Be kind to yourself. And honestly I have been since recovery and really do believe the results from the full diagnosis which will be discussed in my upcoming appointment September 12, at 3:15pm will be mental health related.
Again, it’s my brain. It just doesn’t feel right, healthy or good in any way. I don’t feel like myself, I’m not feeling much emotion, very little is giving me pleasure yet interest in hobbies I used to enjoy, I’m not feeling much of anything right now. I can’t think clearly as much as I’ve been before this started happening. I can’t seem to concentrate as good as I used to and I’ve been taking Concerta to help with some of these symptoms but it’s not working. Either I may need a higher dosage of the Concerta and/or need the diagnosis, further actions and Prozac!
