The Lost Get Found

When you get a chance, are you gonna take it? There’s a really big world at your fingertips and you know you have the chance to change it.

There’s a girl on the streets, she’s cryin’. There’s a man who’s faith is dyin'. Love is calling you.

Don’t let your lights go down. Don’t let your fire burn out. Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe. Why don’t you rise up now. Don’t be afraid to stand out. That’s how the lost get found. The lost get found. – Britt Nicole, The Lost Get Found

Why do we go with the flow. Why take the easier road. Why are we playing it safe. (No, I don’t wanna play it safe). Love came to show us the way. Love is a chance we should take. I’m moving out of the gray

For so long, I thought I knew who I wanted to be. But throughout my life, I’ve become more than one person in that period of my life up to now. And for some little time now, I really know and believe who I want to be and what I want to do being this girl that I am talking about. This girl that I want to be is:

• Confident
• Beautiful
• Happier to be herself and accepted of herself and others hopingly
• Proud
• Strong mentally more than physically
• More and healthier qualities within herself that she has changed not only for the better but also as part of her recovery: helping her become a better human, now that she has her humanity, emotions and overall her true self back again and recreating as a result.

“Sometimes I feel a little helpless. Seems like I can’t do a thing. But anything is possible. Just you wait and see. Good things happen, if you just believe.” – Bratz, Change The World

What I believe in…

My Values:

I’ve valued many things in particular that are a part of the person, this girl that I’ve been trying to be but get rejected every time. And not just by the haters in the world, but my own parents and sister.

Throughout my recovery in particular (as an example to start off here), I’ve rediscovered myself again, recreated her (made her a better human being and more…), regained her humanity and emotions on top of many other important things that I lost but regained back to my true self.

And during that time for me, I was figuring out who I really and truly wanted to be. What I wanted to believe in, what I wanted for myself (personally: a love life, more of a social life, my parents and siter’s approval, acceptance, understanding and support from with my true identity and discovery of my mental health issues…) and for another one: a better sense of idea and direction of where I want my life to go (for myself, my decision and my life).

And so many times I’ve tried to start and continue showing and embracing the person that I’ve been trying and wanting to become, with my parents and sister but they always seem to reject me and disapprove of this girl that I am trying to become for myself. Because that is the girl (women, in the process of feeling like one) that I want to be, but all I get from them was negative comments and directions that I don’t want to and nor intend of following ever in my life. This is my life and at my age now almost 20 years old, I have every right to decide what I want for myself, my life and everything in between.

Yeah, I may not have a lot of money in my savings account to move out for one responsible and mature thing to start working towards, but I do believe myself that I need to start making my own decisions for myself on my own. And believe me, I’ve tried many times with my parents and sister. But they seem to always be stuck focusing on the past. What I’ve done, what I’ve said, what I promised but never lived by them. I never accomplished what I had promised myself and to them. And they continue to be hard on me for what’s in my past and that they still continue to believe that I will never change. Because I keep saying that I will but they never seem to notice.

If things are spinning around, we’ll pick you up when your down. You don’t have to worry, my friend. You should know, it’s all about you. It’s not about the people you know. It’s not about the seats at the show. – Bratz, All About You

But others who may have been through things that I’ve been through like mental health issues for example, will understand the frustration with being able to get our parents to not only see things from a different perspective, (thinking differently, creatively) but also be more willing to cooperate with us to make a change without making the problem any worse than it already is. Like Einstein quoted:

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein

My parents and sister think I should wear makeup (foundation/coverup) everywhere I go in public because of maybe…society. Because it would be proper to wear makeup, but I would call it: wearing a mask to cover up who I really am. Who I like being. Who I accept myself as, I wouldn’t change a thing about myself. I found that once I really started loving myself for the first time, I stopped caring or worrying about what others would think or say about me. But then it wasn’t totally achieved. I didn’t care what others would think about me, but more my parents and sister continued telling me to still wear “that mask” everywhere I go in public.

It’s not about the places you go. It’s not about the money you make. It’s not about the little mistakes. It’s not about the people you know. You’ll be fine on your own. It’s not about the clothes that you wear. It’s not about the car, I swear. It’s the little things you say and you do. – Bratz, All About You

But guess what, I like myself just the way I am for the first time. And loving myself and being comfortable in my own skin isn’t a problem for me anymore. So if the haters have a problem with that, it’s not my problem, anymore. I don’t care what they think anymore and for the rest of my life. So they can say whatever they want about me but I’m gonna stick with what I know truth about myself.

I like myself the way I am! – Penelope

I’m not gonna sacrifice my mental health just to please and make my family happy as whoever they want me to be. Because I don’t want that. My mental health is so important to me in which I also value a lot for myself. And I’m not willing to risk it or put it at stake when there are better and healthier options for me. I like myself the way I am. And the things I want and intend to improve and change, I’ll will do it with my own consent. I won’t follow something because my parents know what’s best for me and know me inside out. Well here’s a new update on that. I’m not the little girl you took care of for almost 20 years now. I’ve changed, for the better in the ways that I believe is the right and best thing for me at this point in my life now.

I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else. You made me insecure, told me I wasn’t good enough. But who are you to judge. When your a diamond in the rough. I’m sure you’ve got some things you’d like to change about yourself. But when it comes to me, I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else. – Selena Gomez, Who Says

These lyrics along with the rest of the song, really decribe my point here. There were many times in my past life where I absolutely hated myself and wanted to change my flaws and other things about myself because it made me feel ugly inside and more. Maybe this was caused from society’s expectations or whatever they have against letting the world be who it wants to be.

But I have finally come to a point in my life where I know who I want to be, and have had my life purpose and true life passion for 6 years now. And have my plan to fully achieving what I want in result makes me happier than I’ve ever been, confident, proud, beautiful and any other great emotion out there that you feel or experience when you reach or achieve this kind of thing in life.

Don’t ever be afraid to show who you really are, because as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else’s opinion matters.

And so in result here, I’m not ashamed to fully 110% become and embrace every part of “this girl” that I’ve been meaning to be for quite some time now and won’t let anyone or anything that life may through at me in the future change that. This is what I want. This is who I want to be. And this is what makes me happiest. And I really hope not just everyone online here but my friends and family (mainly my family) respect, accept, understand and support me here. It would mean the world to me to receive this in result from reading this or after hearing this big yet so important and valuable speech of mine that I gave my heart and soul plus time and effort to create this. Because I spoke and wrote this from my heart, because this is the truth. This is what I want. This is what I’ve been chasing, fighting for so many years. This is my year, my time to get this right! Because I believe that I deserve all this and more!