Why Don’t I?
The Vulnerability With Letting My Guard Down
You know I haven’t been able to live my life on my own terms, well my whole life and it’s been because I’ve been so weak with my excessive need for winning that validation/acceptance from society so that I could feel the reward of: feeling “good enough” and well loved in some sense. For so long I’ve been wanting to be loved unconditionally by my parents: where I could be my “real” self and be loved by them!
And I didn’t think it was too much to ask from anyone. Though with my best friend Courtney and Katie; it’s a different story I’ll share later in this post or in another post another time!
I’m afraid to just let go.
I know know what it is about the risks involved in being the real me and being seen that way: as my most real and authentic self I’ve yet to become. But whatever the risks are, I have to be willing to try again and this time: not let fear dictate my future anymore!
It’s my life, it’s my body and it’s my time to start living my life on my own terms! It’s my time to begin living my life the way I want without any thoughts of obligations fears, worries or anything else anyone could think about!
Don’t know why I run. Don’t know why I hide. Never let them know what I feel I inside. Don’t know why I’m scared to just take a chance!
Whatever it is, I know I gotta break free from these old patterns of mine and let the real me out of hiding! It’s fine to take risks for what I’ve been wanting to do for myself for many years! And whatever anyone thinks or says, what I want and deserve is way more worthwhile: all it’s my life!
We all think we have lots of time in the world to do what matters but honestly we never do: “No one ever notices time until it’s gone.”
This is something that breaks me heart as it’s something that so many of us take for granted so much, so frequently! All I want and wish is that people enjoy and appreciate and be grateful for the time we do have and the moments we make with those we meet from day-to-day and those we love! If only there was a way this message could be shared!
It’s not about how much time you have, it’s what you choose to do with it.
Remember: it’s not how much time you have, it’s what we choose to do with it! Pretty much almost reworded the quote above from the movie: Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World!
We all have things we keep from people like friends and family, maybe even coworkers when they can be crucial to making your life and other lives easier and more creative, optimistic, beautiful and one of your very own! But at a certain point and time, we have to ask ourselves: how badly do we want this optimistic future to be our reality someday?
Like also quoted from Tomorrowland: “In every moment there’s a possibility of a better future, but you people won’t believe it. And because you won’t believe it, you won’t do what is necessary to make it a reality.”
If we want to stop living in fear for example, we gotta take a risk: “With every big decision comes with an equally important share of the risk!”
Life’s too short for secrets! ~ Danger Amo
Because we should be more motivated to be honest, loyal, truthful and open about what matters to you no matter what other thoughts come to your mind! Life is way too short to keep things from those we are closest to!
Because in the end, it’s what we have right here right now: which is what matters more than winning the battle called: the need to be right all the time!I’ve been wanting to teach those I see every day and those who know and love: that being there for those people are way more important than winning any battle, bet or game! Life is no game, play it your way but also don’t forget to spend time with those who are most important to you!
I’ve never been the one to break free.
Yes
This is not where I belong.
