An untold story of pain
“ We’re standing by the sidewalk of the beach looking at the starry sky, talking about how the date went good and going out together again. It was time to depart and I suddenly made a sad face. He leans forward and kisses my forehead and whispers ‘I love you’. And I didn’t smile neither did I say I love him back but hugged him and held tight”
We always imagine looking like the person we love. At least we pretend to. We imagine the guy with soft hands wearing your favorite color shirt kissing your forehead while you are crying. We think love is something to be easy; so easy like a kindergarten scrapbook. We always imagine love too far away from pain. More like chocolates and roses. We have fictional picturing of what you want to in your love. You don't have to say it sometimes but it happens unconsciously.
But the truth is all your fantasies fade when you find out what actually love is.
When you truly understand what love is and how it is going to hurt you back; you'll lose all your mind in putting so much effort and time into one person whom you think to spend for the rest of the life and go back to wherever you started.
Sadly, love doesn't leave you feeling so easy to be left behind. It hits you again and again. Puts you in the loop where you swirl your head around and around and there is no coming back. You cant find a way out. It gets harder and harder as you try so hard to push yourself out. You don't feel the hurt. You’re drenched on a rainy day with no jacket on, in the middle of a street hoping the rain would stop. Even after you put on a jacket you don't feel the warmth.
When you try giving up on coming out of the loop, it suddenly spits you out into long-lasting darkness of pain and misery. This is true and I’ve been there too :)
You’ll know that this the kind that cannot save you; grow you or applaud you. Instead, kill you to the core of your soul. This is the one where you hold hands to nothing but lies. Purely structured and scripted lies. We only drown in and never come out of it.
The piece of the prologue was written by me during my days of such a wrong love which I thought would be the best of my life. Years after, looking back at the same post I feel only wasted time and emotions, and utter pain. I feel betrayed and fooled…
I’ve become better now.
Trust me, sister.. you will also be…!
