An unwritten story
I’ve been busy…
I checked my blogs and noticed that I haven’t written anything crazy for a long time. It’s just nothing but priorities. Between the urge to graduate and the complete insanity of a brutal pandemic, taking a three-month break was all I could afford.
Now that I feel guilty about not writing something or… anything I feel like I’ve lost the ability to write. Whoa! that came out strong. It might not be true but I tried to come with something for a couple of days but my brain felt numb. I seem to struggle to join two words and phrases to make a sentence. Even if I make sentences, I cannot pour the right amount of emotions that are quite enough to speak my heart. This made me worried. Words abandoning me is the last thing I’d want in my life right below a meteor hitting the Earth.
The fearing of smothering the expectations with rust and salt fuels my feeble attempts at creating some form of art; write-ups they say; from the bottomless pit of my numbed heart.
You see, I can’t paint galaxies and shade them with intricate metaphors. I don't know how to teleport you to another direction with fanciness or the mere flick of my magic word-wand. I cannot dress up demons as fairies. I am not in a good relationship with dictionaries or libraries. They refuse to lend me their wisdom. But showers me with words at the drop of my heart.
If I were to scribble something right away, I fret, it might sound like either a depression story or love poem. Everything coming from the blog stays in the spectrum. Let me tell you this… I am no lover nor a psycho. Love, hope, and happy endings quit doing business with me quite a long time ago. But solitude befriended me and I couldn't leave her behind. I am definitely no cheater :)
Pardon me for disappointing you. I might not sketch a landscape of elation when I make the occasional detour to the clouds. But, I can try panting what it feels like to fall from grace. The view from that tumble is a little too familiar though. ‘Coz falling deep, anyways came to me, naturally.
It is great to be back on the writing track. I missed this though. Missed the words, lines, punctuations, and emotions. Let’s hope to write more and start again from where I left. Cheers!