Next time you think, “I’m over the Hill,” say to yourself, “Nah, I’m just standing further down the curvature of the earth.” — Parker Palmer, ON the BRINK of EVERYTHING: Grace, Gravity & Getting Old
One of the things I wish I had had when I was growing up, was a better understanding of my perspective on life, or better said, my lack of understanding about living a good life. The view of the horizon I saw way back then was determined by scarcity, not by abundance.
I paid little attention to what I had and always wanted more, no matter how much I did have. That viewpoint did little to serve me in a positive way. It kept me in a funk from which I could rarely deviate. I wasn’t unhappy, but I didn’t know true happiness as I do today. Until I learned a different way of seeing my horizons, my horizons would not change.
It isn’t magic, it isn’t woo woo, but learning a different way of seeing how to live one's life and feeling good about it is for those who will allow it to happen. I know that many people downplay the law of attraction and that’s understandable. Life can be hard sometimes and having a good feeling isn’t always possible. Since attraction is predicated on how one feels, feeling good is important. But sometimes life circumstances just suck!
I have experienced the suckiness of life on way too many occasions. I can say that all of them didn’t turn out well for me. AND, I am still here AND I am more abundant now than ever before.
At 68, I could’ve given up so many times: 2 failed marriages, two lost families, I’ve been fired, I lost more money than most people make in a lifetime through bad business decisions, I have filed bankruptcy and watched as they towed away my repossessed vehicles in the middle of the night. Yeah, sometimes life sucks, and really, there are no guarantees it’ll improve any time soon. Right?
On the other side of the spectrum, I believe I’m one of the lucky ones. I am healthy, I have a great support system, I am still working at something that I think is meaningful and brings me incredible joy. As I write this story I am looking out of the front window of a home overlooking a mountain valley in the Blue Ridge Mountains staring at the Smoky mountains off in the distance. Remarkable, I think to myself. How did I deserve to be here? Well, I didn’t, but I am and that is good enough for me.
When our inner vision opens, our horizons expand. -Louise Hay
Okay, what’s the point? With all of my faux pas, I have never given up feeling like I could recover and be the abundant man I have always thought I was. I think a part of the way I feel came from my days as an athlete where I learned it isn’t over until it’s over. And for me, it isn’t quite over. Hey, I’m not proud of many of the things I have done to get to this place, but I am standing in this place and I still have a shot at being okay with who I am even if I am not okay with who I am right now. (clue — I am okay with who I am)
Yes, the journey can be and often is rocky. It has also had some remarkably beautiful moments: like how many men successfully reunite with their high school sweethearts after a 47-year vacation? Not many, but I did and that wasn’t on my horizon 3 years ago!
You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore. — William Faulkner
My bottom line here is I believe we all have a choice. We can stay where we are looking at the same place over and over again, or we can metaphorically decide to move to a different vantage point where we see a new horizon. We can adopt a new perspective about ourselves and how we want to live this life. Again, the choice is always, always ours.