Can Social Media be NOT Performative? This is the Answer and I’m Not Surprised.
Hi! Before we get to the end of my research, I want to introduce myself, and share why my research is about Social Media performativity.
I am Pink Stuart, a dog mom and a Cancer sun. I’m currently majoring in Theatre Arts at the Philippine High School for the Arts. For our Performance Studies Class, we were tasked to do a research and I chose to tackle social media performativity. Why?
I joined Social Media when I was just ten years old. I remember joining Facebook, just so I could play games. Three years later, I joined Instagram. And that’s when I first learned how to use filters and editing apps. I remember at that time, “Retrica” was one of the most popular editing apps.
When Instagram was just starting to become popular, everyone became obsessed about their “feeds.” I remember everyone had that white themed feeds. Or everything was so color coordinated. I grew up being interested in Fashion. So, I started posing more “aesthetic” photos such as modelling my clothes, and posting random photos as long as I found them “aesthetic.” I don’t think I even knew what aesthetic meant at that time. I just thought aesthetic meant pretty and cool.
When I went into high school, I learned about theatre and performance, and life. Everyone in school and social media always seemed to carried themselves pretty well. I was (or maybe I still am) an insecure child. Especially, being around social media, where I see everyone, it was hard to find confidence in myself, and also to find myself.
“I hoped and wanted that people would want to be me the same way I looked at others and hoped I were them.”
I’ve been struggling for years about my identity. Who I really am, and whether I am being real. For the longest time I’ve curated, edited, planned all my posts, specifically, on Instagram. I made sure that people had good impressions of me, that when they see me online, they’ll think “Oh what an interesting, cool and pretty person I am.” I hoped and wanted that people would want to be me the same way I looked at others and hoped I were them. I posted a bunch of stories thinking it was as real as it could get yet little did I know, I was nowhere near being real and authentic. When I started becoming even more conscious of the things I post, and I wasn’t able to share everything I wanted to share, I created a finstagram. I created a private account just so I could freely talk about myself, post selfies and share my stories and thoughts. It was going well, until years later, I became conscious of what I posted in my dump account. Even if it was a dump account, I had this need to make everything look pretty and interesting, so people would think about the same to me.
That’s when I learned that the content I post, isn’t for me, but for the people who follow me. After a while, I stopped posting, on both my private and public accounts. Up to this day, I haven’t posted on the feed of my public account for almost two years. I post from time to time on my IG stories, but only if I find the courage to do so. Even if I do have something to post about, it all ends up in my drafts, because I never feel so content with what I post.
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; What happens on Twitter stay on Google forever!”
Jure Klepic, jureklepic.com
Social Media, especially, Instagram scares me. Sometimes, I still can’t understand why and how? It frustrates to see that I among others, struggle with a fear of being “public.” Respondents from the survey have said that they think they’re being the most real on their dump accounts or their “finstas” as well because they’re afraid of being judged in their public accounts. Because we have so much insecurities, we end up creating an altered version of ourselves in our public accounts.
To be real, is to be honest. Social media created this illusion that who we are online, is who we really are. As I learn more about performance and performativity, it confuses me even more what is real and what isn’t. When am I performing and when am I not?
Can Social media be NOT performative? You probably have guessed my answer after reading the whole blog series, or not? My answer is No, but it can also be yes. Now listen, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I tried to be as open-minded as I could. While I do believe that almost everything and everyone is performative, specially, on Social Media. I believe that from choosing photos, or stories, constructing your message or your texts and curating your posts, all these are performative. But, maybe it’s not about being performative? Rather it’s about genuineness, It doesn’t have to matter all the time if you curated your posts, added filters and such, as long as you remain sincere and honest about it.
Now, this is just my take on it. As I’m constantly growing and learning more about life, people, theatre and performance, I’m also figuring out myself and my opinions on certain things, like this.
If you reached until here, I’d like to thank you for reading, and also I’d like to hear your thoughts! Contact me through my socials! ❤
