In A Relationship With Anonymous

Dating somebody who has no online presence can become difficult.

I once dated someone who had no interest in the online lifestyle. His idea of online presence was having an email. Mine was being on: Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Foursquare, Pinterest and Wanelo.

It was…frustrating. I couldn’t tag him, couldn’t see his pics, get to know his friends from old photos. I was…frustrated to say the least. Annoyed really. I asked him to create a profile but then I realized: one social media obsessed person was enough per relationship. It made me value it more, like something that was precious and not public information, and that was ok.

I had finally found a balance in my life. This is not to say that I wouldn’t have squeaked if he had randomly added me on Facebook.

But here are thoughts that crossed my mind during the relationship:

• Why doesn’t he like social? Is he anti-social?
• Should I change my status to: “in a relationship?” but then, with who?
• Why don’t people believe me when i say he’s not on social?
• Maybe he hasn’t found the social platform that would work for him…
• My Foursquare history looks like i am a crazy person going to bars, romantic restaurants and beaches alone.
• Why do people post thousands of images with their significant others?
• I don’t want to post pics
• Eeh who cares about social etiquette?
• I am happy and that’s all that matters.

As social as social is, it’s also very personal. We can use it however we want…as long as we keep reminding ourselves of that. We also have these preconceived notions of what a relationship looks like on social because we see them in our newsfeed every day, shouting to the world that they’re in love and loving it! But, that’s not what love has to look like. It never has been. It’s about questioning and accepting the things that make us different.

We don’t share for other people as much as we share for ourselves…it’s selfish, but that’s okay, so are relationships.