There’s an App for That

I love my girlfriend. I don’t verbalize it as much or as often as I feel it, but I never doubt that she feels it or knows it.

We’re working in separate cities right now and have been for the last three months. It’s been tough. We’ve only seen each other, in person, once since I had to move for my job yet we talk more often now than when we lived 20 minutes from on another.

We’re both working office jobs which means we have a fair amount of downtime between menial busy work and the occasional exciting project. Basically, we’re on GChat or Messenger all day sharing links, stickers and inside jokes. What I’ve found most surprising is that this all day connection has made our relationship stronger. We’ve found the opportunity to bond over experiences together through news stories, posts and quizzes from the likes of Reddit, Buzzfeed and Mashable and we’re doing it in realtime. Don’t get me wrong, we used to talk about and share these things after work, but now we talk over word docs and spreadsheets instead of dinner.

I’d always heard terrible things about long distance relationships and how they’re doomed. Some things are still true, as nothing can quite replace physical contact, but somehow we’re still close — maybe closer. We’re sharing so much more in the moment, rather than looking back and sharing what seems important in retrospect. We’re, I can’t believe I’m saying this, living in the moment — together.

We even downloaded one of those couples apps. We tried a few of them, but avocado is the one we’ve stuck with so far. We even used it when we were planning our weekend together. I would add a restaurant to our shared calendar and she’d figure out movie tickets for right after. It’s not everything we need though. We’re still Snapchatting and GChatting for more immediate connections, but more involved ones happen in avocado. Yes, even sexting.

My girlfriend had never done any sexting or tried phone sex before our unexpected physical separation. And while both fall short in some pretty obvious ways, long distance sex has come a long way with high-speed Wi-Fi and HD cameras built into smartphones.

After being skeptical of long distance thanks to 90s sitcoms and standup, I’ve been pleasantly surprised with just how intimately connected two people can be when they’re hundreds of miles apart. We’ve grown closer through our separation and I can’t wait to keep it going through our reunion.