Marriage, yesterday and today !!
Turning the chapters of history and looking far far back, the reasons that we get for the institution of marriage to exist are lock, stock, and barrel different than what we witness today. Be it Indian culture or western culture, the differences are so gigantic that one can’t help but notice them.
Starting with a few facts that made me say *whoah.. really ??*
Fact 1 — Marriage’s primary purpose was to bind women to men, and thus guarantee that a man’s children were truly his biological heirs. Through marriage, a woman became a man’s property. Umm, this is quite imaginable fact and we all can admit to it (at least in Indian society, but this fact is not limited to Indian borders but has been prevalent all over the world.)
Fact 2 — In the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greece, a father would hand over his daughter with these words: “I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.” Well, in Hindu marriage ceremony a tradition of *Kanyadaan* (Donation of Girl child) is similar to this one in Greece, where daughters are meant to be handed over as charity for the purpose of expanding the family of groom.
Fact 3 — Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives; married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while their wives were required to stay home and tend to the household. Patriarchal society was the reason for such traditions and practices to exist and wives were always meant to be objectified.
and many more…
By now you must have noticed, that for much of human history, couples were brought together for practical reasons, not because they fell in love. In time, of course, many marriage partners came to feel deep mutual love and devotion. But the idea of romantic love, as a motivating force for marriage, only goes as far back as the Middle Ages.
In Indian culture, we’ve always practiced arranged marriages (since fourth century). Initially, the practice of child marriage was dominant along with polygamy and polyandry and falling in love before marriage was seen as a sin. According to the Manasollasa, “the king should marry a Kshatriya girl of noble birth for a chief queen though he is permitted to have Vaishya or Shudra wives for pleasure”.
All these facts and ancient practices have already faded away or are in process of being inexistent. Now we’ve more realistic and open minded approach to marriages with is often intermingled with *log kya kahenge* (what will people say?) attitude.
So, what reasons do we now have for the institution of marriage to exist ??
Reason 1 — Fear Of Staying Single. Most of us have a mindset of having people around with whom we need to share our inner most thoughts. With the passage of time, friends change and we begin to need a person with us all the time. When friends (and other acquaintances) start fading out from our lives, fear sweeps in and we are then afraid of being (and dying) single (single here implies lonesome and not state of dating).
Reason 2 — Pressure. Parents and society start to build a virtual pressure chamber and thus directly or indirectly compel individuals to give in.
Reason 3 — A Baby On The Way. A less common reason but yeah, pregnancy also often plays a role in marriages coz you know, single parent (especially if the parent is single since beginning) is quite unacceptable to our *Society*
Reason 4 — The Clock Is Ticking. The clock ticks and we grow old, but according to accepted notions, we must not grow old alone.
Reason 5 — The next step. You’ve been in relationship for over 5 years, been living together, so what next ??
Marry !!
again, and many more…
Well, so many reasons we have to be with someone or not be with someone. Our thoughts, our ambience, our society, everything plays its own role in moulding our life in each case, including *marriage*.
We at SocialE did a survey and got amazing results. Following are the images of results that we found. You can click here and vote too, coz your opinion matters !!
