Final Take
I thought for my final post in this series I would leave all of my dedicated readers with some real world examples of using emotional intelligence. I have applied what I have learned and shared with my readers to recent situations that I’m sure you have either come across or will encounter in the near future. In my opinion, recognizing that these situations present opportunities to test your EQ and then reflecting on how you handled them signify that you are well on your way to developing a strong EI.
- ) You’ve said something private or secret that is overheard by someone who probably shouldn’t have heard….
Unfortunately, whether we meant it or not, we have all been here before. Let’s say you are at a social gathering and your friend told you some juicy story about another friend of your the day before. You run into another friend and continue the grapevine without noticing that the person it’s about is standing right there. We all would most likely feel horrible but as humans we tend to be social creatures and do we ever actually keep a secret?
The High EQ Approach: The right thing would be to have never had that conversation in the first place. Often times private conversations in social settings are never private by any means. The worse part was the person it was about probably heard and now feels worse. This is one of those situations in life were you have to stop while you’re ahead and put out the fire while you can. The best thing to do would acknowledge that the person heard and neutralize the comment as best as possible while also apologizing for your mistake. Hopefully, that person has a high enough EQ to kindly forgive your behavior.
2.) Your friend asks your opinion about a new romantic partner of whom you disapprove…
Someone close to you is excited about their latest love interest and as happy as you may be for them it does not have you feeling the same type of way. It very well might be the furthest thing from couple goals but to them it is and you worry giving your honest critical opinion would create hard feelings and problems in your own relationship that friend.
The High EQ Approach: First ask yourself why this new partner in question is making you cringe. Are you envious of what they might have? Will them being in a relationship take a toll on your quality time spent with them? Do they remind you of your own bad experience? Or are you genuinely concerned of their choice? If you can look you yourself in the mirror and tell yourself nothing but hurt will come to your friend through this relationship then try this approach. Ask completely neutral questions that may help your friend reflect on potential problems that may arise down the road. By no means do I mean persuade them because it’s their life and their choice but I do insist that you should prepare to be proven wrong. But hey, thats what friends are for.
3.) Someone is supposed to meet you at a specific time but they end up being late…
The final common situation that I will illustrate for you is one I tend to be on the opposite side of more often times than not. So this is how my friends usually handle it. For example, you’re planning on meeting your friend before the football game so you can sit together. Minutes tick by and your blood pressure continues to rise because guess who’s running late again? You’re right it’s probably me. You quickly get annoyed but that soon turns to anger as you call and their phone goes to voicemail and their texts remain unreturned. You’re missing the start of the game and probably won’t get a good seat.
The High EQ Approach: A strong EQ involves regulating your anxiety and impatience even if your friend is rudely running late. You can be aware of their presence but not letting them spin out of control in the passing minutes is the key. When your friend finally shows, no matter how late and how you may currently feel about them, you give them the benefit of the doubt. There could be a perfectly good reason for their tardiness or they could just be infamous at showing up late. You are faced with a decision that you have to choose and live with. The first is go in without them and calmly explain that you had no choice or you were gonna miss whatever it is you were planning on doing. The other choice is wait for them to show up and go in when they get there. It is important you don’t make them feel worse than they already do for being late because that will only ruin the event, possibly even the friendship, for the both of you.
Thank you so much for reading my series on emotional intelligence! I appreciate the support and sincerely hope you gained as much from reading these posts as I did writing them.
