The 19 Elements of EI

My publication thus far has discussed what emotional intelligence is, where it appears in the workplace, and how to strengthen your EQ. What I would like to explore in this post is the characteristics of an individual with plentiful EI and what it takes to get there.

According to Lindsay Kolowich, author of the blog “19 Signs You’re Emotionally Intelligent (And Why It Matters For Your Career),” there are indeed 19 elements indicating EI which are split into four “clusters”. These categories are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Self Awareness

1. Emotional Self-Awareness: “You have a solid understanding of your own feelings and emotions, your strengths and weaknesses, and what drives them.” By reflecting on how you feel inside, you are more adept to recognize how others around you feel too.
2. Accurate Self-Assessment: You fully understand your morals, values, and goals while also seeing the path you are headed towards. You know your limitations and boundaries but this plays to your strength as you can disregard nonsense to achieve what you are seeking faster.
3. Self Confidence: “You operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team. You’re willing to talk about yourself in a frank, non-defensive manner.” You know what you can and can’t do. You know what you are good at but won’t toss it in another person’s face. You’re determined that you will succeed but you don’t go about it in a way that’s arrogant or puts others down.

Self-Management

1. Emotional Self-Control: “You feel bad moods and impulses just like everyone else, but you don’t act on them; in fact, you can control them. For example, instead of blowing up at people when you get angry, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is. You have the ability to wait until your emotions pass so you can respond from a place of reason.” Urges will not control or define you. This is where the breathing before reacting method becomes very useful.
2. Achievement: “You’re interested in moving yourself forward toward some vision, goal, or strategy.” And you won’t stop until you get there. People with a strong EI will stay focused and determined to reach their desired destination.
3. Initiative: “You’re self-motivated, and you keep moving toward distant goals even when you experience setbacks.” Getting thrown off the path isn’t that big of a deal since you’ll just bounce back stronger. Initiative means you will go out and get what you want, you aren’t going to sit back until something is handed to you.
4. Transparency: “You’re honest…about your progress, goals, and emotions.” You are an open book which will become an asset once you establish a solid support system. Being able to communicate anything you feel the need to is crucial to developing as an individual.
5. Adaptability: “You’re resilient. You stay calm under pressure and recover quickly when something goes wrong. You don’t panic in the face of a crisis; instead, you’re calm. And you don’t brood, point fingers, or hold grudges.” In a life that is ever changing, you go with the flow and ride the wave wherever it takes you. This means you’ll stick out the lows and appreciate the highs because you know that nothing lasts forever.
6. Optimism: You stay positive and have a wonderful outlook on life. You are gracious, humble, and see the good in every situation thrown your way.

Social Awareness

1. Empathy: This is the ability to share and understand the feelings of another. You sympathize with them, show them that you are there and care for them and most importantly can listen to what they have to say. You don’t make everything about yourself, you can relate to someone and offer advice without making it your problem to handle.
2. Service Orientation: This again is about listening. Instead of listening for anticipating your own response, you listen to comprehend and take in what the other person has to say. You give them your full attention and take in what they have to say without interrupting or speaking over them.
3. Organizational Awareness: “Because you understand other perspectives, you can explain ideas in a way that your colleagues will comprehend. And you welcome their questions.” Be simple, clear, and concise. After explaining something, welcome questions and say it in a different way if someone didn’t quite get it the first time.

Relationship Management

1. Inspirational Leadership: “You provide a vision that motivates others. You use your emotional intelligence to create and nurture resonant relationships with others through mindfulness, hope, and compassion.” You want the team to win and genuinely want to lead a group towards success where everyone plays a vital role. This could be vocally or by example but either way these people tend to be larger than life when they are on top of their game.
2. Influence: You get your points across in very compelling, interesting, encapsulating way that grabs the attention of the listener and motivates them to do something. You are persuasive and clear so your audience knows your exact expectations. This isn’t coercion or forcing someone against their will, this is mastery of motivational language that makes other want to succeed.
3. Conflict Management: You utilize your EI to defuse potentially disruptive situations. You are an expert negotiator, leader, and know how to nurture relationships especially on the brink of collapse. You can settle disputes, differences in opinion, and misunderstandings with relative ease.
4. Change Catalyst: “You’re not resistant to change; on the contrary, you recognize the need for change, and you support the process.” This relates back to adaptability. You are a driving force for innovation and the discovery of a new process of how to do things in.
5. Developing Others: You are good at handing out constructive criticism that will serve a purpose and not just call out another’s flaws. You provide feedback effectively that will aid them in building the skill or knowledge they are pursuing. Instead of possibly putting someone down you do it in a way where you are helpful rather than harmful.
6. Teamwork: You are sociable, humorous, a pleasure to be in company with, and somebody anyone can turn to. You want to see everyone around you succeed and encourage them to do so. People feel like they can relax around you and confide in someone they trust.
7. Collaboration: The final of the 19 elements has to do with networking. You are fantastic at maintaining longstanding relationships but are constantly branching out and creating new networks that will benefit you in some way. You build teams from this strategy and continue to grow and cultivate a circle where you want to see everyone meeting their goals.

Kolowich, L. (2015, September 29). Hubspot agency. 19 signs you’re emotionally intelligent (and why it matters for your career). Retrieved from https://blog.hubspot.com/agency/emotional-intelligence.