Pride without a Parade: How to Celebrate Your Own Way
Bernadette shares how to personalize your pride celebration to fit you.
**Note: I use the word “queer” and “LGBTQIA+” interchangeably in this article to encompass all people on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
Remember Pride 2019? I definitely do. Flags and sparkles on our bodies shone like gems from the sun that beat down on our faces and necks. Our parade started late, and my group was at the end, so we spent the time dancing, sheltering under our flags-turned-umbrellas, and making new friends. I spent that day with my future-wife (though we weren’t even dating yet!). Pride was, as it always is, joyful, alive, exuberant, and proud.
But I think I’ll always remember it as the last Pride before the pandemic. In 2020, skipping Pride was sad — but bearable — and for a good cause, we thought. Stick it out for a few months, socially distance, and this will be over by Christmas.
Oh, how naive we were.
I definitely thought that we’d be back for Pride 2021, louder and prouder and more jubilant and joyful than ever before. Yet here I am, entering the second summer without pride celebrations, trying to wait patiently for a vaccine appointment, wanting nothing more than to wave my flag in the street and dance to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” with my wife.
No Pride? No Problem!
But hey — even if there’s no pride this year — or if you’re someone who can’t celebrate pride parades in general, because of safety or physical or mental health reasons, chin up. You can still celebrate Pride!
Because, in the midst of all the exuberant celebrations and every corporation marketing their once-a-year progressive rainbow products, Pride is a constant, recurring state inside us: not one that appears once a year. It’s a feeling that we cultivate inside us. That means we can celebrate it all the time!
What does Pride mean to you?
For me, queer pride covers a variety of topics: a celebration of diversity and our history, rejoicing in increasing social equality and visibility, an affirmation of who I am and my right to dignity, and committing to the continuing fight for legal equality.
This is just my definition — there are as many as there are people in our community!
Here are some ways to incorporate Pride into your life during pride month and the rest of the year. Many of these can be complemented by journaling, meditation, or other mindful or creative practices.
Celebrate our diversity and history
- Learn more about different, unfamiliar, and evolving identities and issues in the queer community. Great topics include intersectionality, history, the black trans community and their struggles and contributions to our community, or international queer communities!
- Read books — both fiction and nonfiction! — that are about LGBTQIA+ themes.
- Watch documentaries and films.
Note: Documentaries can often be difficult to watch or follow due to the emotional and often tragic history that the queer community has. Be sure to take care of yourself! - Hold a small (personal or with a few friends) candlelight vigil. Honor those who have paved the way for our rights. Honor those who have lost their lives or experienced violence or hatred due to homophobia. If you’ve experienced violence, hatred, or any type of harassment, include yourself in this. Honor what we’ve been through.
Rejoice in Growing Social Equality and Visibility
- Make (or find) a Pride playlist and dance around your room, at a park, or have a small picnic with friends for a mini-Pride celebration!
- Attend a virtual Pride parade.
- Find online queer communities where you can proudly be yourself and make new friends.
- Sometimes, life can be boring. I get up and eat breakfast with my wife. I express my gender how I want. It’s so routine, I don’t even think about it anymore. Wait — I’m living my everyday, authentic life! The ease of this is something that can be celebrated, too!
Affirm your identity and right to dignity
- Reflect on your journey.
- What were the key points in reaching wherever you are today?
- What were your triumphs, and how did you reach them?
- Celebrate gender euphoria! This is the feeling of joy we get when our gender is affirmed by someone else or our gender matches how we express ourselves.
- Wherever you are with your identity — whether you feel it’s set in stone or flexible — trust and tell yourself that you know yourself best. This is special and important. Not knowing your identity or labels is okay, too! You and your identity deserve dignity, honor, and respect at every stage. Give it to yourself.
(Re)commit to the fight for legal and social equality
- Post to social media with easy-to-understand information about the queer community.
- Volunteer with organizations advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights (for example, writing emails, making phone calls, working with their social media accounts, even doing administrative work for them). If you need to remain anonymous — tell them. They probably have a space for you. Don’t worry about a heavy time commitment — volunteer based on YOUR schedule!
- Fundraise for organizations that fight for our rights.
- Shop consciously. Look for organizations that donate their profits to the LGBTQIA+ community instead of buying an item with a rainbow randomly splashed on it.
- Educate your community. Work towards talking to people who aren’t in our community to provide them with new information.
A Closeted Pride
These are all nice and pretty, but what about the people in our community who can’t or have decided not to come out yet? For this, please prioritize your safety above all things.
Look for the ways to celebrate that are quieter — a Pride picnic with friends, a candlelight vigil, or learning more about the community and journaling about it. Another great resource can be found in online communities. Some of my closest queer friends are people I originally met online!
If none of these ring true to you and are not ways that you celebrate pride, take a moment to think about what Pride means for you. Often, you’ll find answers on how you want to celebrate, just by connecting with yourself! Recognizing this pride, and choosing additional or alternate ways of celebrating it, can transform and enhance our personal feelings and our connection to the community.
Drop a note in the comments! What does Pride mean to you? How are you celebrating?
