Fatherhood

Happy New Year all!

Over the holidays, I managed to take some time off for some “R&R” which in this case was also “retrospection and realization” in addition to the usual. As far as this blog is concerned, I realized it is a platform where I air my views on all things important to me: careers, personal relationships, entrepreneurship, technology, telecommunications, media, America, India, other emerging markets, etc. However, what I am most passionate about in this phase of my life — the essence of fatherhood — has received no airtime whatsoever.

Our twin daughters have lit up our lives for over six years now and each day with them has made me keenly aware of their budding individuality. Although they continue to soak up knowledge from us like famished beak-fed hatchlings, they have recently started questioning parental wisdom.

This evening, one of our girls decided to execute a jump on a very slippery surface wearing “leggings” which afford her feet no traction. Noting her intention, I cautioned her that she would surely fall if she attempted the stunt. And sure enough, her first jump saw her footing give away and she landed on her back, hard. She was in pain, but for the first time ever, I realized the pain in her eyes, as she looked at me, was not from her body parts hitting the marble floor. It was rooted in dismay for having disappointed me.

And she probably saw the pain in my eyes too, a pain not just from seeing her suffer physically, but also from realizing that for the rest of my life I will be plagued by premonitions of her getting hurt, of me cautioning her, of her disregarding me, of her enduring the pain sure to follow, and her emerging stronger.

I am fortunate to be part of the shaping of two free spirits!

Originally published at blog.kamadolli.com on January 18, 2011.