The Rejection Connection
The voices in my head are ugly creatures
They possess shadowy, twisted features
Brought on by lack of connection
And the curse of problemed perfection
Left to my own devices
The self-doubt rises
It bubbles up during the day
And shouts loudly at night
The four walls of home
Offer no respite
From the torture
From the loss
From the damaged view
I’m unable to toss
Away like trash
Instead I rehash
The mistakes made
The words people said
The fact that they lead
Me away from being true
from seeing the view
That there is greatness
In the spaces
Of my mind
Of my being
Of my existence
Here in the place
I offer myself no grace
Only the lies
Built upon the ties
Of a jaded memory
Of broken femininity
Boys have the power
Girls only get flowers
If you don’t listen to what I say
You’ll get the belt today
How is it to be
That I am not my own best company?
Because I am well trained
By The bully’s refrain
It’s stuck like a song in my head
The words repeat instead
Of fading away
Like when the DJ
Is ready to move to the next song
Cue it up and sing along
The rest of the world is too busy for me
So they never see
The dreams
Hear the screams
I fight to take its power
It is a troublesome hour
A fight between the dark and light
To clear my sight
And my head
Of the voices
That have fed
The demons of disconnection
I forgot to mention
They are monsters of my own making
As I refuse to partake in
A life well lived
As I continue to give and give
Hoping that in return
Someone will have the right word
That sets my soul free
From this monstrous symphony
Of the rejection connection
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