I’m a straight man who came to a more realistic understanding of gender late in life. It didn’t help that my 20’s were spent in a Christian community with strict gender norms that made the 1950’s look egalitarian. I remember the light-bulb moment. My daughter Judy had just graduated with a degree in Gender Studies in May, 2003. I asked her what the primary insight of Gender Studies was. She replied, “That gender is a continuum.” I unsuccessfully stifled a laugh. Then, over the space of maybe 3 seconds, I entertained this idea — I guess for the first time — and realized how it must be so. Biology is awash in continuums, spectrums, gradations. My ears finally opened (why did I wait until my daughter graduated before asking such a starter question?) and Judy patiently explained herself. My remedial education had begun.
How many other things that aren’t so do we assume just because we’ve never stopped to think about them? This interruption of my till-then distorted views on gender got me thinking about a lot of things and led, eventually, to my run-in with Evangelicalism over matters of gender and sexuality. (I’m a pastor. I like to wait before telling people that.) In the meantime, I’ve come to see Jesus (you can think of him as my imaginary friend, if that helps) in a whole new light.
Jesus violated at least two powerful masculinity norms of his day.
