Future Moon Missions Give NASA Astronauts Greatest Gift: Getting Off The GD Earth
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — The Moon might be lifeless, desolate, and peppered with trash left behind by former lunar missions, but to some, most importantly, it’s not Earth. “Before I joined NASA’s Artemis lunar program, I was planning on moving to Iceland to get away from the mass shootings and religious extremism,” said crew member Victor Acaba, “But Americans can still get to Iceland, while only a few of us can get to the Moon.” This sentiment was echoed by crew member Kayla Moghbeli, “It’ll be refreshing to not have to worry about some Christian freak telling me I can’t have an abortion. You know we’ll be f&*king on the Moon, and just like in the States we’d be expected to work without access to childcare… and we won’t have enough oxygen for more humans at first either. You try sciencing with a needy toddler running around trying to stick tools into electrical sockets.” While the Artemis mission crew will work around the clock to set up the first off-world basecamp while promoting multi-national cooperation, they’ll also inspire future generations to do whatever it takes to escape Earth’s bullshit (and America’s… yeah, mainly America’s BS).
