The Essence of Manliness

The definition of true manhood

Gender is the most misunderstood subject of our times in that people are constantly trying to define what makes gender distinct. Today, the definition of gender roles has a wide variety of options. Men and women can share equal roles in society, topics like submission or headship are now deemed as repulsive and expired, and understanding proper behavior, emotions and attractions has proven to be extremely complicated to our world. Hence, the looming question that stands before us today is, what do true gender roles look like?

It should be no surprise that we are facing these problems today. The understanding of gender roles are under attack, not by coincidence, but because it would be Satan’s desire to smear something that was designed to be a reflection of God’s own image. Yes, you and I were created with a design that mirrors the divine and mysterious image of the Creator of the Universe. When He created the first man and the first woman he did not make them the same. Rather, He made them individually and uniquely profound. Most importantly, He made them different in order that both man and woman could, within their design, reflect a broader understanding of God’s image.

What Men are Not

There seems to be a consistent problem with men tackling the question of manhood. Men who pursue the definition of true manhood often find themselves in a situation where their testosterone peaks and they become dictators and not disciples. Or, on the other side of that coin is that men approaching this topic become too sensitive and lean towards the delicate, emotional side, avoiding any repulsiveness that could be associated with a brutish character. However, the Biblical definition of manhood does not promote masculine strength, emotion, or intelligence. Biblical manhood is much broader than our how we feel or the power that we can wield. Masculinity for the Christian and for all men was given in order to reflect their Creator. Hence, we should set some boundaries for this male writer and for what we can expect Biblical manhood to not represent.

Men were not created to be dictators, nor were we created with the absence of backbone. Men were not created to be enforcers. We were not created to overpower or abuse the weak. We were not created with the right to expect sexual satisfaction whenever we please nor were we created to be selfish with the gift of sex. We were not created to display a lack of self control. Therefore, we were not created to be carelessly lethal with our words or our actions. Finally, men were not created to be weak minded, cowardly, or followers of our emotions.

What is Biblical Manhood?

David’s Instructions to Solomon When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn, (1 Kings 2:1–3 ESV)

One of the most articulate passages in the Old Testament on the subject of manhood is 1 Kings 2:1–3. As David (the king of Israel who is on his deathbed) gives his final instruction to his son Solomon, he tells him to “show yourself a man.” The suggestions that seem to build upon David’s definition of manhood are as follows: obey the Lord, walk in His ways, keep his commandments and so on. The final exhortation that David gives His Son, and the heir to the Hebrew throne, is that righteousness be the mark of one’s manhood. That is so important to capture when you think about who David was; a man’s man. David killed bears, lions and giants, took on armies with a handful of followers, made love to beautiful women, had songs written about his valor, and possessed the admiration and respect of an entire nation. Today, David would have made the Dos Equis beer’s Most Interesting Man look like a child on a playground. Even God said of David, “He’s a man after my own heart.” However, his last words to his beloved son about manhood had nothing to do with physical strength, intelligence, or emotions. Rather, David emphasized devotion to God. David encouraged Solomon to be strengthened and show masculinity by reflecting God’s righteousness in his personal life.

As we carry these thoughts into the New Testament we inherit a more vivid imagery for righteous manhood through the example of Christ. Through Christ we see that man must lead in love, protect the weak, defend the poor, love the little children, care for the widows and orphans, drive out the fraudulent and abusive behavior of those who take advantage of the weak. He must die to his desires and his will in order to preserve the things that God places in His care. In his kingship, he is the greatest servant. He never leads on his own, but seeks the wisdom of his peers. He bows often to people who are loved in His life such as his wife, not making her his subordinate but making himself her most trusted servant. He is patient to speak, slow to anger, and liberal with his love. He is strong, yet very aware of his mortality. He will stand for truth, he will fight evil and he will promote good. From the Scriptures this seems to be an appropriate definition of God’s example that should guide our understanding of manhood.

What we find through Biblical definitions of man is that Christ has a massive effect on the essence of manhood. Yet, he doesn’t destroy our nature. He only shapes it for His glory. Therefore, man can always glorify God as a man. Whether we are rugged, wild, adventurous, challenge driven, leadership minded, strong and protective in our nature, it does not offend God. That’s exactly how he made us. However, that nature was never given in order to influence our own selfish gain, but to reflect who God is as a ruler who loves and who serves selflessly.

Help me believe

Today, gender suffers greatly to opinions, political correctness, stereotypes and much more because of societies refusal to accept a Biblically rooted understanding of gender. The conversations about gender spirals into chaos and confusion because people are trying to narrowmindedly rationalize their way through gender definitions. What we fail to understand is that God made us unique in order that we might glorify Him. We are not fixing anything by neutering men from their gift of strength, nor does giving a woman an Adams Apple render a more suitable and healthy environment for unity.

Gender roles need improvement. However, negating what God has told us about gender will never accomplish the mission that God had in mind when He created men and women. We must look to God in order to understand the precious differences that He had in mind when He created genders. Within His image and His design lies the contentment and joy of what it means to be a man or a woman.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.”

-Genesis 1:26