We need you to tranquilize

January 31st in South America

“We need you to tranquilize”

These are the words of the best friend of my Taxi driver, Walter. Walter speaks about 10 words of English. So he needed some backup after witnessing me:

1) Cry

2) Hyperventilate

3) Beg to the Argie Consulate

4) Grovel in front of Brazilian boarder police

5) Basically, dervish out of control

6) And, we all saw this one coming … pee

Poor Walter decided to ‘dial a friend’ to stabilize me. Walter took me to a road side (read: dirt path) bar, got me a beer and called his friend. The phone was passed to me after the two of them had some heated unintelligible conversation (aka Spanish) and the friend begged of me “We need you to tranquilize”.

12 hours later. I have. BUT only because my Walter did the most romantic thing he’s ever done in our relationship. He floored it through boarder patrol to get me to Brazil. I was actually “that girl”. The girl who ducks down in the back of a car while someone speeds through a boarder.

I have temporarily evaded the fuzz. So I’m here. An illegal immigrant in Brazil. All thanks to my Walter. I’ve decided to think he made this heroic and valiant effort because of his love for me. I’ll ignore that light gnawing concern that the idea of bringing me back to his village made him desperate with fear.

I’m in exile. I’ll be going back to Argentina on Monday morning to apply for a Visa in hopes of having one by Wed. Hopefully, I’ll have 20 minutes in Rio before heading back to the US. …. dramatic music …. that’s IF I make it back to the US.

The other rather alarmingly realist possibility is that I am arrested in Argentina when I go back for the visa and am sent to prison. Which will bring a different kind of update. Regardless, YOU KNOW NOTHING. Rachel Who?