I ❤️ My Church
How to buy the tshirt, skip the Kool-Aid, and to love your church as it is, rather than as you would have it.
I remember once, in early years of the saving change in my life, my church at the time proudly rolled out ‘I ❤️ My Church’ t-shirts.
I loved it.
I was in love with Jesus and with my church and embarrassment and shame weren’t part of my make up.
I was an early stage Kool-Aid-Christian and I wore my t-shirt everywhere.
I wore it to Chipotle.
I wore it to the Bank.
And I wore it to California for the Celebrate Recovery conference.
On the very first day of the conference I was wearing my shirt, like the new kid in school I went off, brave faced, to see what the world had to offer.
So did everyone else.
Maybe it was an outreach.com promotion.
Maybe everyone stole the same idea at the same time.
Everyone loved their church that day.
The mall at Saddleback was covered with thousands of people coming into the conference, large percentages of them all wearing a shirt, gray, with type arranged ‘just so’ that said, ‘I ❤️ My Church.’
There were differences.
Some used Impact as a font while others used Helvetica… but that was pretty much it.
I think everyone else was thrilled.
I was maybe a bit alone in my response.
I felt stupid.
Isolated in the earnestness with which I wore my shirt.
Like my naivete was written across my chest for the world to see.
I checked. It’s a thing.
I’ll be the first to admit that myself as the Celebrate Recovery conference attendee was a spot of contradiction.
Because despite the pain or brokenness that may have brought me to such a point where I became willing to pursue recovery… I also carried an odd innocence and earnestness about church and the things of God. A lot of folks in recovery do.
I just wasn’t ready for the reality of the business of the church.
I had eyes only for the miraculous… and I didnt have the tools I needed for accepting the reality of others’ best efforts or conclusions.
I was maybe a bit odd… but… it’s an odd bunch.
We’re talking about people who have gone into the far depths of sin and self deception… who are also the exact same people who have publicly admitted and owned it… and who now go to church conferences to talk out loud about personally recovering from engaging in traumatic sin… so that they can then better help others do the same and grab onto Jesus… and they also buy the t-shirts.
And wear them.
Those people.
Those beautiful, innocent, vulnerable people, all on a very real and very personal mission.
They were mine.
I was theirs.
…and may we never stop.
Moments like this seem pretty important in the maturation of believers.
They were for me.
When I look back at my story and the seasons I have walked through, from the life of a born again and reforming criminal to the later earnest volunteer to the eventual serving pastor and then, more lately, to a space that simply bears the name ‘christian,’ each step of that process has involved disappointed expectations and learning to become better in how I hold my eye and my mind as I look at the life God has given me.
Realizations — again and again — that the problem is not with others, but with myself, yet again, and entrenched in my own world view… yet again, will happen… yet again.
As a result I was able to set down one childish expectation after another as I walked forward… and accept the reality of the Church as I found it rather than holding to my belief of what it was or should instead be.
It turns out, that last part is really important.
I mean, kinda hard to argue I’m living a life of trusting Jesus when I’m just so sure how everyone else should be doing everything. You know. In Jesus’ church.
World’s biggest hypocrite, that’s me.
The lesson is that there’s nothing wrong with the church selling t-shirts.
The lesson is that you can buy the shirt without drinking the Kool-Aid. …and being angry at the t-shirt vendor because you don’t like the Kool-Aid may not be the healthiest way to look at things.
Look… when I apply the expectations I have of God and God’s character to the earnest, imperfect, expressions of his bride that I find in the local church, it will always fall short.
It will for you too. That’s just not where that goes.
I concluded that I need to remember that it is not the job of the local church to make sure I have the right boundaries with church, nor is it the job of the church to live up to my expectations.
It is the job of the local church to be accountable for how they hold authority… but no matter what they say it’s my job to decide what I think.
The lesson… at the end… is that I need to accept the very human nature of the ‘church’ as compared to the beautiful, befuddling, web of relationships that is ‘The Church’…
…and not hold it against the latter.
…and keep showing up in the former.
As we become more mature, I think it behooves us to remember that the burden of our sight, mind, and soul is no one’s but our own to carry.
We have to grow up.
Buying that t-shirt?
That helps.
It puts money into circulation that the Church can use to take risks to accomplish mission. That’s awesome. Be a part of that. Please.
But the Kool-Aid?
You don’t need to drink the Kool-Aid.
It’s on the same table but you can just walk on by.
All scripture referenced is NLT unless otherwise noted. I prefer NLT for postural discussion as it is both reasonably rigorous while retaining a conversational tone.
For study I strongly encourage the use of original language tools, multiple translations, and rigorous critical thought.
Please remember that when you read the Bible in English you are always reading someone else’s theological interpretation of the text.
