The Wedding Feast

Daniel Carpenter
sometimes slowly
Published in
5 min readApr 3, 2024

How to get dressed for the party and some possible insight as to why that might matter.

The parable of the wedding feast has always confused me.

In it, a King invites guests to a wedding for His son. All the people He invites reject him. So He invites everyone else, all the people no one would expect the King to invite.

And that all has always clocked for me.

The King is God.

The Son is Jesus.

The initial invitees are the Israelites.

The everyone-else-no-sane-king-would-ever-invite is you and all your friends.

But then it ends with this.

Matthew 22:11–14

But when the king came in to meet the guests, he noticed a man who wasn’t wearing the proper clothes for a wedding. ‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how is it that you are here without wedding clothes?’ But the man had no reply. Then the king said to his aides, ‘Bind his hands and feet and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

For many are called, but few are chosen.

That has always thrown me.

My read was pretty simple, “What?!

That.

It left me with a lot of questions, like…

Who is this guy?

Why be so hard on this guy? Afterall, the King invited him, the guy came, what gives?

So what that he isn’t wearing the right clothes? What are the right clothes?

What’s with the ‘no answer’ thing?

And why the extreme consequence?

Why is this dude cast “into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth”? That’s generally accepted Jesus speak for Hell-or-its-equivilant.

So… why?

It is a busy day.

I never understood this.

Except now I do.

The guy is me.

The only mystery is why it took me so long to see it.

This is a parable about the cost and consequence of our indulging in cheap grace… long before Christians, or cheap grace, were actually things.

Worth thinkin’ about that for a second.

The lesson is simple, it is better not to accept the invitation to the wedding than to show up unappreciative of what an honor it is to be chosen.

Because it is an honor.

An extreme one.

Essentially… if you are going to accept that honor, wear it with honor.

That poor guy… had no answer because he just didn’t understand. He’d probably never considered that anything was required past his attendance. Maybe no one told him.

He was wrong.

That was me, ten years ago. In the Church, addicted, lying, not at all concerned with the perception of the King for His own house.

That is me, now. In the Church, scared to speak or act with the confidence of one who is chosen, unable to answer my God as to why I am not doing what I should.

These lives look completely different.

I tell you, it is the same thing.

If I am chosen then there are requirements.

For what not to do.

For what to do.

Both.

These lessons don’t sit well with culture today.

“Outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth,” doesn’t read well to a Church that maybe — for the most part — wants to show up in street clothes. A church addicted to cheap grace.

Here, let’s add another log to the fire.

Proverbs 9:10

Fear of the LORD is the foundation of wisdom

Now THAT verse sounds flat in today’s world.

“Why should I have to fear God? God loves me!” and, “Fear doesn’t mean ‘fear’ it just means ‘care about,’ and, “That’s the old covenant,” are all the normal responses to this.

I disagree.

Fear means fear.

And it’s the foundation of wisdom because you are going to fear something. You will. You do.

Just like you are going to worship something. You will. You do.

The point is to build on the only smart choice.

Choose God.

If the world has a complaint against Christians it is the same complaint the King makes here — that they are not wearing the right clothes.

Some of my favorite conversations, with some of my favorite people, who are atheists, all fall on this same subject… and I find that often the atheist has a clearer picture of who and what Jesus is and stands for than do His followers.

They just don’t believe.

They got the invite, and chose not to come.

And part of what they provide as a reason for that is… “the Christians look nothing like Jesus.”

Here’s what they say:

The Christians worship judgement, not grace.

The Christians worship anger and self righteousness, not love and faith.

The Christians worship men in high tops, not Jesus in His sandals.

…are they really that wrong?

Maybe not for you, but in a broader picture?

Can you see this?

Can one look at the Church from outside the Church and see us dressed so poorly?

Is it possible that this is why this whole thing matters? Why your clothes matter?

Not just for you, or the King, but for the eyes of others? That we need to care about this, and that God cares about this, not from ‘pride’ but so that we might not discount the Grace of God for those others he is inviting… because we wear it so cheaply?

That cheap grace hurts everyone?

That this, all of this, boils down to the respect for God in His house, recognition of the value of grace received, and the ability to share that with others?

Does that sound like our God?

Matthew 22:36–39

Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

I think so.

All scripture referenced is NLT unless otherwise noted. I prefer NLT for postural discussion as it is both reasonably rigorous while retaining a conversational tone.

For study I strongly encourage the use of original language tools, multiple translations, and rigorous critical thought.

Please remember that when you read the Bible in English you are always reading someone else’s theological interpretation of the text.

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