Introducing: Seriously, Don’t Approve This SuperPAC

You know what’s better than having your own superPAC? Having two superPACs! Today, I’m happy to announce that the FEC has approved my application for a second superPAC: Seriously, Don’t Approve This SuperPAC.

You would think there may be some rules or laws to stop you from having control of two organizations that are allowed to spend unlimited amounts of money to influence the American political system, but it turns out there aren’t. How much money is two times unlimited dollars?

You may remember that for my first superPAC, I spent a whopping 49 cents on the stamp to send in my application. Well, it turns out the FEC actually has an online filing system, so this time my superPAC was free! I feel foolish having wasted a stamp and 49 cents on my first superPAC, that’s big money I could’ve used to influence some folks.

My first superPAC endorsed Bernie Sanders for President, but I’m thinking I may use this one to endorse Hillary Clinton. She’s by far the most experienced candidate and Bernie really doesn’t have a chance in November. Wait, actually — is Jim Gilmore still running?

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