On Writing Cliche: The Problem with Nazis and Vampires
Dear writers,
We need to talk.
Like some of you, I lurk on writing forums. Reading up on resources, answering what questions I can, until recently I saw a another question that tends to pop up in the “how to be unique” realm: What should I avoid writing about to not be cliche?
Short answer: Write whatever you want to write about. Every idea has been used. First drafts suck. Writing well involves writing a lot. You cannot edit anything that does not exist. You are not going to be perfect or create an apple pie from scratch, so bring out the ink, smear alien patterns on a wall, and call it poetry.
But…I think we should talk about one teeny-tiny bone I have to pick. Or specifically two which are so popular they have become their own genre gag:
Nazis and Vampires
Now, before you start bringing out the holy water gun pistols, I should clarify: Nazis and vampires have a special place in my non-existent heart. You want to talk about Nazis and the Holocaust? Then call me up and we can rant about them over ice cream. You want to talk about vampires? I am also into improv. And how wonderful it is when two topics of your fascination are plastered everywhere in fiction and nonfiction and internet conversations (Godwin’s law, anyone?). You never have to go out of your way to find them. Even one of the greatest anime shows ever, Hellsing Abrid — I mean, er…Hellsing Ultimate, is Nazis vs. Vampires.
But when did Nazis and vampires become synonymous with:
“THE. WORST. THING. EVER!” ?
Is fiction so self-absorbed Western-centric, we prefer our living villains to be white and dead villains to be whiter because cannon European lore is all we know? Or is it playing safe and lazy because we can write whatever we want about inhuman people who do not exist and whom we do not need to put in much effort to research beyond our acquaintance with the overstuffed #fearturkey of #canonlove?
You have a character who is evil. Why are they evil? They are a Nazi.
THE. WORST. THING. EVER!
You have a character who is angst about being inhuman. Why are they about angst about being inhuman? They are a vampire.
THE. WORST. THING. EVER!
Nothing is “so cliche” you should not write about it. Not even zombies.
But if there is one this so cliche, it gives writers a bad name and started a few wars, it’s relying on stereotype label to dismiss someone as “evil and/or inhuman, destroy now” and skip character development to validate why they are monsters. No, really. That’s how the Nazis were able to cart off as many people as they did to the concentration camps. They made those people: Jews, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Epileptics, Mentally ill, etc.
THE. WORST. THING. EVER!
And don’t get me started on the Mein Kampf of sexism, aka: the Malleus Maleficarum.
It is a terrifying power writer’s have — re-enforcing stereotypes rooted in pride and fear. How easy it is to give someone something to hate by stripping it of its humanity. #killbabyhitler And I digress.
Stereotypes, tropes, cliches, etc. do have their place in this world. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a label is a photo album. If a writer’s battle is to convey the most about a character with as few words as possible, then choosing one is not entirely foolish. How refreshing it is to also see that label turned on its head in a new light.*
Thus the problem is not so much that Nazis and vampires are stereotypes or cliche. It is that they are still top ranking in the table of
THE. WORST. THING. EVER!
Like no group of people in history were on the “evilness” level of Nazis (who were totally inhuman robots loyal to the most evil mastermind in history**). Like Romanian spawned vampires are the only blood sucking beings of fantasy (and bathing in the blood of handmaidens is not stylish anymore***). This is not a matter of being used too much, it is that ever thing else gets ignored.
Yeah, yeah, people sucking is a trope too. But maybe it is because I am a history buff who grew up breathing multi-cultural mythology. Maybe it is because I like learning about places and people from a world I know little about. Maybe it is because I don’t like one dimensional bad guys and am biased to favor relative morality. But, and I apologize for my derogatory word choice, the sheer level of ignorance of the history of human fear co-existing with the “need to be original” in the writing world is laughable.
Most readers don’t necessarily want “originality.” They want an engaging story they have not heard before. They want to hear a story they love told in a new way. They want a reason to keep reading. And writers have thousands of years worth of material to inspire them, but still manage to fall back into “another vampire story.”
Is there anything wrong with that? No. Readers exist for everything (including oddly specific fetishes I wish I didn’t know of). The benefits of having an established audience is you do not need to convince publishers people would be interested. But the sentiment still stands.
The moment your plot twist is Nazis or I figure out your character is a vampire (and no, you can’t get away with not calling them what they are), your story gets an honorary face palm. Even if Hitler’s soul was living inside of a raven and waiting for a body to take over, or the vampire is the caretaker of a boy who grew up in a graveyard.
For you writers of Nazis and vampires, keep doing your thing (and recommend me some good ones). You want to write about Hitler coming back as a vampire, or Nazis being a secret organization of rouge grim reapers, or a vampire living in the White House because it made a contract with Abraham Lincoln in the final days of his vampire hunting spree — I will not stop you. I will roll my eyes when I read your story because I am a cynical snob, but I like being proved wrong. Overused cliches have never stopped me from appreciating a good story, and as I said: I enjoy Nazis and vampires. Perhaps too much. Other readers, I cannot speak for. We are all different.
Thus, to help you on your quest to be “original,” here are some more ideas for
THE. WORST. THING. EVER!
for your friends, enemies, and inhuman punching bags to be.
Prospects for Nazi (and Hitler) replacements:
Requirements: Must have attempted massive genocide/ethnic cleansing and/or had a reign of terror that resulted in death of many, generally political/military campaign of conquest, are not Russia or Japan
- Christopher Columbus and his men — they bashed infant heads for fun and enslaved the natives to dig for gold, and initiated a centuries long genocide that resulted in the death of 80% of native population (death est. up to 100 million people)
- Cortes vs. the Aztecs — The Aztecs made enemies with their sacrificial culture. Cortes was a greedy man with no respect for culture. Epic rap battles of history begins. Rampant disease causes the natives who supported Cortes in overthrowing the Aztecs turn into zombies, forcing Cortes and the Aztecs to put their differences aside and…wait…
- King Leopold of Belgium and the creation of the Congo “Free” State — Under the reign of King Leopold of Belgium, the population of Congo was reduced by half (death of est. 8–10 million people). Men were required to meet rubber production quotas, and if they did not meet them, they were beheaded, forced to rape their mothers/sisters, and/or wives/children had their hands cut off as proof the husband/father had been killed.
- Khmer Rouge (KR) — Communism? Communism. But not in Russia this time. The need to purify the population for a socialist state was carried out by the KR. Now known as The Cambodian Genocide (death est. 1–3 million)
- Christians and Hellenistic Cultural Genocide/Ethnikoi Hellenes genocide — Considered one of the most successful genocides in history, it was initiated by Christians and successfully stamped out polytheism in the Grecio-Roman world. (death est. “more than the Holocaust” and a lot of literature, libraries, art, etc.)
- The Ottoman Empire — The Ottoman Empire has 3 major genocides to their name: the Armenian Genocide, The Greek Genocide, and The Assyrian Genocide.
- The removal of Germans from Europe — After WW2, being a German in old Germany was a bad idea. About 14 million people migrated to the new Germany and est. 2.5 million died. They totally deserved it for being Nazis though, right? Stalin would agree. He was one of the people behind it. (Clarification, 2023: This does not ask you to sympathize with Nazis, nor Nazi-party members forced to flee. This refers to people — many of whom were children — were victims of Nazis too, in their own way, as they suffered the wrath of the world by German = Nazi association due to post-war hysteria)
- Genghis Khan and the Mongol Empire — The Mongols were masters of horseback, psychological terror, and things we don’t talk about related to pregnant women. They built the second largest empire in history, second to only the British Empire. During the invasion of India, they also built a pyramid out of human heads.
- The Bloody Mary of Madagascar — Ranavalona I began a reign of terror when she became sovereign of Madagascar, tried to severe ties with the British empire, built and army, suppressed education and Christianity, and forced people to build public projects without payment which reduced Madagascar’s population by half (death est. 2.5 million)
- Thug Behram — One of the most prolific serial killers in history, killing ~900 people, Behram was the leader of the Thuggee cult in Oudh in northern central India. Yes, this is the origin of the English word “thug.”
- Timur and the Timurid Empire — With the fall of the Mongol Empire, Timur saw his chance and formed an empire of his own in central Asia. Genocidal massacres, destroying Christianity in Asia, and more pyramids made of heads aside, he is considered a military genius and was a feared fascination to European rulers during the Renaissance.
- Jim Jones and the mass (murder) suicide of Jonestown — Why kill ~900 people when you can start a religious organization, move to a new country, and then have all your followers drink cyanide laced punch? Considered the largest loss of American life until September 11, 2001, we now have a saying which refers to accepting some idea without question it, even if it means that idea is dangerous: “drinking the kool-aid.”
Prospects for Vampire replacements:
Requirements: Drinks blood, fangs, ideally night creature, prospect to look sexy without a shirt
- Alp / Mare — long before elves were defined by Tolkein, Germanic “elves” had a lot in common with vampires and were associated with sleep paralysis, nightmares (linguistic origin stories!), and changelings/kidnapping children.
- Lamia — generally depicted as half human/half snake, these female blood suckers originate from Greek mythology and favor the flesh of young men.
- Strix — another from Greek mythology, but why have an undead bat when you can have an owl?
- Sekhmet — a goddess from ancient Egypt who once mistook beer for blood and got too drunk to finish destroying humanity. Win win.
- Strigoi — if vampires outside of Romania are too terrifying, strigoi of the “living/non-time lord variety” are witches with either two hearts, two souls, or both
- Dearg-due — a woman who committed suicide because she was forced into a marriage and came back to life to get revenge on her father and husband. Irish folklore.
- Adze — from Ghana, a vampiric creature who takes the form of a firefly and possesses people (who then become known as witches that negatively affect those around them)
- Camazotz — a bat monster from Mayan mythology and Mesoamerica
- Peuchen — a flying, shape shifting, blood drinking snake via Chile and Machupe who can be destroyed by a Machi (Mapuche Medicine Woman)
- Jiangshi — sometimes dubbed as the “Chinese Vampire,” these also qualify as zombies. If you watch anime, they are the ones wearing Chinese Official clothes and walking around with talisman hanging in front of their face.
- Penanggalan — who says you need an entire body at once to be a vampire? From Malaysian folklore, these women — whose vamparism and attractiveness can result from various means — can detach their heads, which fly off/ooze up through floor boards in search of infant blood or that of a woman who recently gave birth.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg! And not the iceberg that sunk the Titanic either (that was just a cover up for the zombies). I recommend you check out wikipedia lists, youtube videos, mythology anthologies, history books, haunted buildings, haunted history, and the dead bodies buried next to the Great Wall of China are a great place to start. Now go forth into the night and write, write, (get a little feedback and) write.
Cheers.
~Kai
* As an opinionated side note, the vegetarian vampire spin is not refreshing or clever. If you don’t want your immortal, sunlight fearing creature to be a blood sucker, make them cursed with immortality by a witch or drunk from the fountain of youth or a shape shifting fruit bat or anything really that does not sound like “Jane was not like the other girls; in fact, she did not even wear dresses.”
** Fun fact: Calling Hitler a mastermind is misguided. He was charismatic, yes. But when it came to military strategy, he was rather immature and made poor decisions which contributed to the fall of the 3rd Reich.
*** Oh, Elizabeth Bathory. One day, you’ll have an overused, fictional romanticized version of you in mainstream media, just like Vlad. Sleep sweetly until then
Images (in order of appearance):
* Hellsing Abridged Opening credits (taken from the Hellsing Ultimate anime)
* Nazi zombies from the film series ‘Dead Snow’
* Edward Cullen from the Twilight Film Series
* Cover of “The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman
* Charlie Chaplin as the dictator in “The Great Dictator”
